What is with all the Vagina posts lately!?!?!?!?

Which is directly affecting the amount of posts I have about the Vag.  Because I can't help but comment.  This one wasn't YouBeauty, believe it or not...it was posted by none of than Mr. Sulu a.k.a. George Takei (whom I ADORE!). 

Anways, scrolling through my FB and I see this....

Okay that sounds like an STD, can we at least have a different name for it????  And I have to agree with Mr. Takei, I had no idea this was a thing...over there.  So OF COURSE I read the article. It's technically NOT your vag that gets the treatment...its the outter area of the hoohah (I am not getting medical here, you can figure it out).  Apparently older women who are dating younger men are realizing their lady parts are looking a little worse for wear.  I guess saggy/wrinkly anything can make you self conscious which includes um...lips but can't we just use some lotion and move on...? 

"These facials reportedly give ladyparts back their youthful glow using a combination of steam treatments and applying a mixture of coconut oil, egg whites and vitamins."

Right...okay...sooooo is this like that thing I posted about a few months ago??? Go take a hot shower and moisturize just like you would ANY OTHER PART of your body...right?!?!  This just seems like the most ridiculous waste of money.  It promises "to give women the vagina of a 25-year-old”... 

OMG really?!?!?  While I guess some men (probably "men" you don't want to be involved with anyway) may get weirded out by older looking hoohah, but most 25 year old men I've known are really just worried about getting laid. If it is with a Cougar, even better.  This to me sounds more like a "lets point out something that will make women even MORE body conscious and make money off of it."

I read some comments from men saying "If I could make my d**k look 25 again, that'd be great" but I really don't think most men care about that either.  If it still gets up that is all that really matters...right?!?  I dunno, what is next? Lip lifts?  You laugh but I bet this is a thing you can do!  It's like a facelift for your snatch. 

I don't get it but more power to you if that's what you want to do.  And honestly I am not judging the women who are doing it.  If that helps their confidence go for it girl, I just feel like it was created to exploit self conscious older women.  When men age it is dignified, their wrinkles are seen as a new layer of attractiveness and their gray hair is sexy (usually).  When women age they are expected to nip, tuck, steam, moisturize, dye and cover up the fact that they are getting older.  And yes I know there are men out there who are VERY self conscious about their aging bodies but as a whole our society glorifies the bodies of aging men while shamming the bodies of aging women. 

I WISH I could time travel into the future and see what the people of that time think about all our beauty treatments.  Do you think they'll get stranger in the future (like The Capitol) or do you think as a society we will mature into accepting that things change and people get older...embrace it.  I'm leaning towards the former but who knows.  Only time will tell. 

My luck I'd travel too far into the future and find a desolate wasteland where humans vacated the planet long ago and moved to Mars or something.  "OMG, don't drink the water!!!"

Side Note - Apparently this has been around for a few years...

You want me to steam my what?!?!

So I am not a medical professional but I just read that a certain celebrity is yabbering about this "AMAZING" treatment that involves steaming your lady parts.  I swear I heard my lady parts scream at the thought.  

"You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it."

Look, I take hot showers...like burn the 1st layer of skin off hot but something about squatting (sitting) over a pot to expose your Garden of Eden to an herbal steam bath just doesn't seem appealing. I mean steam is water that got too hot to stay liquid so it became a vapor...to me having THAT blow up my hooha sounds unpleasant.  Throw in the herbs that are supposed to balance your hormones and wait...what?!?  I know you can breathe vapor into your lungs and they can absorb things like herbs or meds.  But your vag doesn't breathe and if it does you should see a Doctor stat.  So if it doesn't "breathe" the herbal vapor into the blood stream...can it absorb it?  I honestly have no idea...I should research.

Side Note - I put lotion on the other day that had peppermint in it...you know it makes your skin all tingly for a hot second and smells delicious.  Anyway, I happened to touch a certain area (not in that way you perv!) not long after applying it and I swear to God it felt like I lit a match in my pants...who knew she had such a dislike of peppermint.  With that said steamed herbs may piss her off just the same. 

It also said something about cleansing your uterus...again not a Doc but how does it get into the uterus...?  Sitting in water doesn't make water go in there so why would steam float up in there...I feel like I am missing something.

Whatever the case may be I think I'll leave this one to the celebs and trendy folk because my reproductive system is already temperamental.  If I tried to steam it, it very well may pack up its egg cases and vacate my body while I am sleeping leaving a note that says "if you want a steamed clam, go to a restaurant".

In all seriousness though apparently this is like some ancient medical thing that is having a resurgence.  Who am I to judge?  If you like it, more power to you.  I've not tried it and I probably wont but others have and seem to enjoy it.  See Here.  No really, read that article because it is hilarious!  I've been laughing for ten minutes.