I wasn't aware I could levitate

It's been a rough couple of weeks personally and professionally.  So I really have begun to cherish my rest.  I started taking these all natural sleep gummies (not those kinds of gummies) on nights when I am particularly stressed. 

Last week was exceptionally harrowing.  So come Wednesday I was pretty done and had some gummies. I was all snuggled up on my side and PASSED THE EFF OUT.  

Now I sleep in short sleeves or tank tops usually so lots of exposed skin.  I also sleep on my side with my bottom arm under the pillow and my top arm wedged under my neck and the blankets over my head. This is important...

I was frolicking my way through dreamland when my sleeping body had an itch.  As per normal human behavior I scratched it.  

This is where my soul left my body!!!!

The itch was in my armpit....when I unconsciously itched something moved.

This is when my brain woke up enough to be like

I instinctively grabbed whatever was crawling in my armpit and it squished.

I LEVITATED out of the bed and somehow floated into the bathroom without touching the floor (that's my story and I am sticking to it).

I turned on the light in a panic and there was a small dead...something between my fingers.  The ONLY thing my brain could think was "OMG OMG OMG its a tiny bug who shall not be named!!!!!!!"

Internal Screaming...that quickly became external whimpering.  Lights were turned on, hubs was confused, bed was torn apart looking for anything else hiding in my safe space!

I saw nothing else. 

I tried to go back to sleep....I really did but it just wasn't happening.  All night I kept thinking something was crawling on me.  

For hours the next day I was like "WHY WAS THAT IN MY BED".  Then around noon I saw a FB post about how bad the stupid swarming termites were the night before.

"Oh my God it was a f**king termite!"  It was small, brownish red and squishy!  It didn't register as a termite because it had already shed its wings.

"OH MY GOD I HAD A TERMITE IN MY ARMPIT!"  Wtf wtf wtf!

General consensus is it came in with the pups and then tried to snuggle me.

Birthday Buggin

Birthdays come and go.  Every year seeming to come faster and faster. 

I know its hard but I really try to just live.  Enjoy life.  Do what makes me happy.  

This year was no different.  The problem is my birthday is in Prime Spring.  Bugs and pollen in abundance.

On my special day we decided to have night caps....outside....in New Orleans.

1st off its already humid as hell

2nd...OAK TREES

3rd Swarming season

So while I am not hot flashing really...it's getting there so this chick that's always cold randomly gets...warm.  Especially if its hella humid outside. 

So as sweat was dripping down my crack something landed in my espresso martini. But before I sould investigate, WTF just just pegged me in the face?!? OMG its a june bug!!!!

Those effing things seemed to be drawn to my bright @$$ dress!!!  I swatted a few *ping* *ping* but they kept coming back!  One landed on my head and I thought my soul was going to leave my body.  

Then I remembered something floating in my drink.  Are those ....wings??!!  OMG its a termite!  That's when I noticed the sporadic fluttering above us near the lights.

Mid me fishing the termite out of my drink I see hubs out the corner of my eye swatting at something.  Before I could register what was happening something pegged me in the chest and went down my shirt.  Queue me panicking and realizing a spastic bug just landed between my tatas.  Before I could really react it flew out an pegged hubs in the forehead. 

At this point, after finishing my martini (yes I still drank it after fishing out the termite), we decided to bolt before something BIGGER than a june bug/termite came out of the trees. 

It's like B-grade horror movie! Who ordered one of the 10 plagues???

Southern living means a lot of things.  Some bad...some good...some of the bad....hmmmm, it means humidity, flash floods, hurricanes, and many many other things...like flying insects.  I am not talking about mosquitoes (at least not today)...nooooooo I am talking about those horrible little wood munching flying things we call termites. 

Apparently they are swarming EARLY this year...YAY...

Last night I was minding my own business catching up on Sleepy Hollow when I noticed one of those nasty little splinter biters on my couch.  I figured it came in with the pups so I squished it with the remote and went about my business.  Then another one landed on my coffee table "hmmmm, odd *squish*"  moving on.  With in seconds I had a small swarm of about 10-20 in my living room.  Ahhhhhhhh!  I'm sitting on my couch wondering what has gone wrong in my life....how did I get here....?

So I start contemplating what the f**k is happening?!?!

Clearly someone read from The Book of the Dead....

Alright so we have a plague of termites flying in my house...but why?!?!  We don't have termites...what is happening?!?!

So I get up and start slaughtering these flying house destroyers while my animals look at me like I am insane....

But every time I kill one, like 5 more show up...where are they coming from?!!? 

That's about the time I look at my front door (there's a small window at the top) and see a f**king cloud of termites assaulting my porch light.  They were coming through a teeeeninsy crack in door.  That's it, time to go dark...(and plug the hole)

So now I am running around my house like a crazy person, with no lights on killing anything flying in the air...

I flick the lights on to see the carnage

Ahhhhhhhh they are f**king everywhere.  Dude cats, get on this!

After 20 minutes of squishing everything I could find, all the ones that made it inside are dead.  I cleaned up kept the lights off outside and in (except of the TV) and sat down to finish my wine.  That's when I realized one had decided to commit suicide by alcohol poisoning.

That was my last glass of wine!!!!  Guess I'll just watch Sleepy Hollow, cuddle with my pups, and NOT relax with my glass of wine...f**king termites.

SIDE NOTE: When they swarm, sometimes they get inside...it doesn't mean we are gross or have an issue...it just means turn off the f**king lights and hope they go away.

NOLA ReBuilding - Lakeview

Even being from NOLA it still shocks me at some of the progress (or lack there of) in re-building.

I know a few people that live in the area called Lakeview that have completely re-done their homes. And have been done for quite some time. I'm not knocking anyone, I get how difficult it can be for people who are trying to fix their homes. It's hard to do a complete rebuild of your home especially if you have bad luck with contractors. I am talking about the ones that have had NOTHING done. The ones rotting on their lots.

I was driving to go meet my friends at a Festival this past weekend and was shocked at the progress. Now I was pleasantly surprised how many houses had be redone or almost completed. I was disgusted at the others. I was going along seeing all these great renovated homes, which looked so nice and hopeful and then right down the street or next door, there was one that was completely decrepit. It was quite obvious the only work done on it was it being gutted...MAYBE. The doors and windows were missing or broken and you could still see the stained waterline on the outside of the house. It looked like the hurricane just hit a week ago and people hadn't returned yet to their home. It was like this the whole way to the Festival. It wasn't a majority of the homes but it was still a good many. Some were up for sale others just falling apart there.

Now why did this bother me so much. Well lets see, its not just because it makes Lakeview look bad its because of the other problems. These homes were in water for quite sometime, saturated and molded by the flood brought on by Katrina. I know how bad this mold and rot became...I help completely gut out 3 houses in NOLA. And this was just a few months after the storm. We are going on year 3 this August 29th; almost 3 years since the flood waters receded.

Okay back to why I am so annoyed with it. You see NOLA has had a termite/rodent issue for as long as I can remember. Termites used to "swarm" for a few weeks late spring/early summer. Nothing spectacular, you'd just see some flying around lights, especially at outdoor parks and stuff like that. Nothing like what I saw this weekend. I was sitting at the Festival and at around 8PM the termites came out of the woodwork...literally! It wasn't just a small group. I mean this was a MASSIVE swarm, it looked like something out of a horror movie. They were everywhere. All around the lights, electronics, diving into peoples food and drinks, landing in hair etc etc etc. It was like a freaking cloud of termites hovering above the crowd. Then I started thinking, they are probably devouring the blighted houses in the area, multiplying like crazy and putting the new developments in danger of becoming infested. Plus these were just the ones that "came out to play" imagine how many more there are underground and hiding out in homes around the area. Makes my skin crawl. Then I started thinking, if termites are making homes out of the abandoned ones just think what else is living in there. I keep hearing about cat sized rats running around (and no I am not talking about Nutria). I think I would die if I saw one, a rat...and I'm not really scared of rodents but a rat that big...

Like I said I really don't like to judge people, pest control is expensive especially termite treatment but my goodness if you could have seen this you would have felt the same...I think. I just kept thinking, why even try to sell the dilapidated houses, just knock them down and sell the land... I know I don't fully understand everything and its not just that easy...knocking down a house but I just had to say something.

I keep wondering what we are doing here in NOLA. Don't we want people to move back and come visit? Doesn't having an insane termite and rodent problem make people NOT want to come around here. Shouldn't there be a time limit on how long a blighted house can just sit there...I mean I thought this was in place (a time frame to gut/rebuild) but from what I saw I am not sure. And this is in a "good/decent" part of town...I can only imagine what is going on in poorer areas. Can anyone shed some light on this? I love my city and hate to see ANY part of it like this.