Well at least I had dark pants on!

Its spook spook season! Which means all the decorations, scary movies, and haunted houses.  Well I mean scary movies are all year round but in October its 10 fold!

Anyways, I love all the scary things.  But there are some things that get me. 

Moving on we decided to get our Haunted House on the other night. I was so flipping excited. 

When we got there we realized it was an additional theme night!!! WINNING!!!

 Ghost Face, Jason, Freddy, Chuckie, etc walking around outside while we were in line.  When suddenly  I turn around there is Terrifier.

My face

He walked straight to the group in front of us as I had a mini panic attack because CLOWN...not just that KILLER CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways after I died a tiny death we got to the front of the building.  Where there was a GIANT replica of Pennywise in spider form. 

I took a pic to torture my friends when suddenly that f**king thing launched forward snarling and twitching his spider legs. I about $hit my pants!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE CLOWNS and IT is the stuff of nightmares!!!!!!!

Moving on for some reason I was put in the front and it was a blast of spook spook!!!  

They got me a couple times and I was having so much fun! I was looking up at eyeballs watching me when I came face to face with leather face and screamed "f**k me!" as he lunged at me.  Hubs said he heard him laughing as we went by.   

Chuckie was just oogie, queen of the damned was GORGEOUS, and the mummy was cool as $HIT.  Then we went into a dark room....with a rotund clown....holding a red balloon.  He followed me for like 5 min and I was about to cry.

We were almost to the end going through a maze when I came face to face with Freddy. I squeaked and he clanked his knives and said "I want to be in your dreams". Excuse me??!?!?  I almost died laughing as I ran away.   He should have said "I'm your boyfriend now Nancy".  I would have pissed myself laughing.  

I ran away right into the freaking chainsaw at the end *cue more screaming* hahaha.  I had SO MUCH FUN. 

Irrational?!?! Clowns are terrifying, you nut!

I've been told my "fear" of clowns is irrational.  I disagree!!! Clowns are 100% terrifying (statistical fact).  Why are they wearing that exaggerated makeup?!?!?  What's with the baggy exaggerated clothes???  WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?!?!

It is not an irrational fear.  Others think my fear is based off of IT.  They think I saw IT as a kid and it scarred me for life.  While yes I did see IT, that is not what started my fear.  My FEAR was well established before IT...the movie only justified my fear.  Clowns are f**king evil!

I distinctly remember hating clowns from a very young age.  I had a clown lamp in my bedroom.  It was a clown holding a bushel of balloons.  The balloons were the lamp shade.  It also played f**king circus music if you wound it up and the head lolled from side to side (I think, I may have imagined that part).  Also, the face had this forced looking smile like it was just waiting to kill me in my sleep.  "Gee, I wonder why I developed a fear of clowns?!!?!?" 

I can't find a picture of the lamp I had...the ones I am finding aren't nearly as nightmare inducing!!! Either that or my memory is quite skewed...
 

It looked something like this but the base was mostly white, not wood, I think it was porcelain & plastic

The face looked more like this.....

But in all seriousness I basically refused to sleep in my bedroom until my mom removed it.  I didn't even want it in the attic, I wanted it gone!  I was like 3 or 5 years old!!!  She replaced it with a lamp that was a f**king doll with an umbrella and the umbrella was the lamp shade.  "OMG mom stop giving me lamps that can watch me sleep!!!!!"

It looked something like this!

I think my mom was trying to scare me to death! 

Anyways, my fear of clowns started long before IT ever came out.  I saw IT.  You might be wondering WHY someone with a fear like mine would do that. Well I was at a sleep over and I didn't want to be the "scaredy cat" so I sat through it.  Then I didn't sleep for a f**king week! 

Seriously, could you sleep if you saw this every time you closed your eyes?!!??!

You would think as an adult my "fear" would have dwindled.  Nope!  I can control it...outwardly you would think I was fine (unless you really know me)...inside I'd be hyperventilating!  But for real, I went to the Circus with my friends for one of the kid's birthdays...I had to concentrate on not freaking out so the little ones wouldn't freak out.  It was pathetic! I even re-watched IT again as an adult and literally had every light in my house on.  The guy I was dating at the time came home and was like "WTF?!!?"  I absolutely, without a doubt, am terrified of clowns.  They are not cute or funny people!  They will kill you in your sleep...hello, Pennywise, Twisty...KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE!

Sam is my spirit animal...he gets its!

 

Look, I love me a good horror movie but put a clown in it and I am reduced to a quivering mess.