Sometimes I wonder if I'm just weird...

...okay I know I am in fact a bit odd but that is besides the point :)

I've seen the below quote/meme online numerous times and I just have to say something. 

"If she's mad, kiss her"

I might be alone on this but this "advice" makes me laugh, like manically, every time I see it.  Because that will 100% not work with me.  All I have to say is if I am mad and you try to kiss me I will bite you or punch you...depends on the level of anger, ha!  Hello, that is just common sense... I am mad...why would you kiss me?!?  I get it...its a way to distract her from her anger.  That way she gets over it and melts into you. But let this be a warning that not all girls will fall for this.  So if you do this and get kicked in the nuts, well that's your own damn fault!

My husband would never do that...he knows if I'm being goofy and he covers my mouth I am going to lick him. God only knows what I will do if I'm pissed off and he kisses me! It would be a bloody mess...quite possibly in the literal sense. 

Instead he will more than likely try to make me laugh or leave the room until the anger flares out.  Not that I get that angry very often but things have been known to happen...its best to just leave me be.

Alrighty, random thought completed...NOLAgurl out.

My creative genius is so underappreciated...

Here is what happened.  I am at work, not wanting to start anything new because I was waiting for a conference call to start.  While waiting I read a story...it was about a dog...and I CRIED!  Like ugly silent sobbing at my desk.  Of course what happens when you are crying...you wipe your tears.  And if you are me...you wipe your tears on your sleeves because that's how you roll.  So I was trying to calm my stupid emotions when I glanced down at my sleeve and started laughing hysterically.  I am talking borderline manic with a touch of giddy school girl.  You see on my sleeve was a perfect little illustration.  No fooling, my tears made ART!

"In my sadness my tear art made me laugh"

Do you see it?!?!?!  You see it!  I know you do, quit lying to yourself!  I was so excited I had to share with someone so I, of course, texted my hubs.  Here is how the conversation went:

Me: "So I read something that made me sad...I think my tears created art" *insert pic above*
Hubs: "What did you read?"
Me: "Story about a dog.  But you are missing the point...my tears created art ;) hahaha"
Hubs: "I don't see it."
Me: *huffing/frustrated emoticon* "There's a silhouette of a person on the right...maybe a young girl...and something that looks like a giraffe/antelope leaping off of its rockers...like a rocking horse come to life...I should write a story!"
Hubs: "You have a great imagination"
Me: "Are you mocking me?"
Hubs: "No...I guess I see it...."

So either I am crazy or extremely imaginative.  I am leaning towards the latter.  I also think I should write a short story about a young girl who wishes everyday she could have her very own horse and one day her wish is granted when her beat up old hand me down rocking horse leaps off its rockers and becomes a beautiful stallion. 

Hmmm my story needs a little more work but I think you get the basic idea.

I guess Bullies never truely grow up. . .

Okay I am not being bullied in the traditional sense.  But I am getting really tired of having to defend myself.  I am different, that is NO secret.  I have my own style that doesn't always fit with the norm.  I follow trends I like and I mix traditional with trendy.  I have an unconventional personality.  I usually make comments or jokes that not all people will get or maybe not all find funny.  I'm not being super nerd, its just how my brain works.  Its me...its always been me, I am over 30, this is not a new development!  But I have no problem making friends and most people like me so I must be doing something right.

I am saying this because today someone whom I see daily just tried to make me feel like ass for one of my trendy choices.  This is not a new occurrence, she knocks my "style" and personality regularly.  Okay yes I work in a professional environment and must dress accordingly.  But I use some flexibilities to express my style with accessories.  A newer trend re-surfacing is bow ties.  Well I am a girl and while I could wear a bow tie if I wanted, it would look kinda silly with my dress.  Instead I found this SUPER cute blue bow bracelet.  Its a little big for my arm but I have itty bitty wrists so pretty much anything on my arm looks ginormous.  I personally think its adorable and have been complemented by strangers in public so yea whatever. 

Yes, I know its different but I like it, so :P.   Here is how the conversation went down.  We were discussing something and I was talking with my hands (as usual) and she stopped me mid-sentence.  She said "what is THAT on your arm?"  I said um, its a bow.  She said "well why are you wearing it?"  I said well its a bracelet.  She said "yea but WHY?  I saw it yesterday and thought it was weird".  I replied, its just a bracelet, I thought it was cute.  She said "well its not, its weird and it looks silly.  I guess whatever".  And she walked out.  Proceeded to walked to another person and talk extremely loud  and both of them laughed wildly.  Can I say for sure it was about me...no, but the timing is just screaming they are being mean girls. 

Wow...really?  So just because its not your style its not kosher?  Its a flipping bow bracelet, I didn't walk in with blue hair, shaved on one side and a lip ring.  In a professional environment I can see how THAT may incite criticism but really a blue freaking bow bracelet?!?  And she keeps harping on it.  Like if she annoys me enough about it, I'll take it off.  Seriously, I don't look like I'm going to the club or anything.  I have on a maxi skirt, dress top, heels and well this. 

Its not that big of a deal I know but its not the only thing just the one the pushed me over the edge a bit.  I am regularly criticized for not blending with the norm by nearly everyone around me...well except a couple friends and my husband.  My family now seems to find my determination to be an individual  acceptable.  It defines me, ha.  I am not a sheep, I do not say Baaaah :P.  I am my own person and if I want to wear a bow on my wrist, bright nail polish, whatever, whats the big deal...?  Does it break dress code standards...?  If so, okay I guess I'll stop wearing it but I really don't see how that would be a dress code infraction.  Someone else around here comes to work in t-shirts, jeans and tennis shoes daily maybe go harp on them a bit. 

Like I said, not your bullying in the traditional sense but its habitual badgering for me to change who I am and while they are minor personality traits they are me and I don't want them to go away!  

I am surrounded by uninformed crazy!

There is this notion that religious people don't believe in science.  Or that all religious people are taught to blindly embrace fiction and snub science.  I don't understand this.  I have NEVER understood this.

I was raised Catholic.  I spent 13 years in Catholic schools.  There was never a point where my teachings on Religion directly interfered with my Scientific learning.  They were two separate classes...ALWAYS.  We learned about the Bible, Jesus and such...then we learned about Darwin, Newton and the Periodic table.  Yes there were some conflicting subjects but my teachers managed it just fine.  There was not a day where my teacher said "this is the theory of Evolution but its wrong, we believe 3,000 years ago God made Adam and Eve...Suck it Darwin". We were taught both and left to make up our mind what to believe for the most part.

Maybe this isn't how it is in all Catholic schools but I have a lot of friends that went to various schools and we all seem to have been taught the same things.  Maybe its a regional thing... whatever.  The religion piece was more of a moral base and the Science was to prepare us for the future.  We were left to fill in the rest ourselves with life experiences, etc. 

If you want to be a religious extremist and take every word of the bible seriously its not because you were brainwashed in Catholic Schools...its more likely you were brainwashed by your parents.  Actually most of the people I grew up with are some of the most open minded and accepting people I know...ya know why?  Because we were taught God loves everyone...yea they made comments about sins, etc.  i.e. homosexuality being wrong - which it is NOT...I am Catholic...see how I made my own choice in what to believe.  If you have 1/2 a brain you know what is right and what is wrong, there is this moral compass thing ingrained in our DNA, well in some of us.  As in persecution of ANYONE regardless of what your religion says is WRONG!  Yes there are those that hide behind the bible but they don't represent me...they don't represent most Catholics.  They my friend are a bunch of cowards who are too scared to admit they are wrong so they use God as their argument.  I have news for them...God doesn't like it when you do that!

Okay with ALL that said I am just sick and tired of hearing how "catholic schools" teach children unrealistic or unscientific things.  I went to a bloody Catholic school...I LOVE science.  In fact in High School I was recognized in a National Publication by one of my teachers for excelling in Physics.  So please explain to me how I was taught something Unscientific.  I mean do you really think that learning about Jesus hindered my ability to have a scientific mind?  I am informed and educated...that is what was and is important. 

I am ranting because I keep hearing about how this "voucher" program is bad because it allows public school students to be "enslaved" by the unscientific teachings of the catholic school system, solidifying the creation of a new generation of brainwashed bigots.  All I could think was, "What in the ever loving F**k are you talking about?!" I mean seriously?!?  The voucher program is incredibly flawed (that is a whole other rant) but it was created (or so I have been lead to believe) because our public school system sucks butt in many areas.  Its the opportunity for a struggling family to send their child to a Catholic School...a PRIVATE school which in this state means a significantly better education in most cases. 

Open your eyes please.  The voucher program wouldn't exist if there wasn't some need for it.  Hell private education wouldn't be as necessary if our school system got their heads out of their asses and realized the future of our country is suffering educationally.  Don't bash Catholic Schools because they teach religion side by side with Science.  Bash the public school system for failing our children.  I know not all public schools are bad and I know not all public school students are being stripped of a proper education.  I just know where I am from the public school system in a joke in a majority of areas. 

Okay rant over. 

Here's my 2 cents

I am certain some people will rip me to shreds for this but I have to get this out of my brain.

I know I do not have kids, yet.  And I guess it is hard to say how I will react in many situations but I just have to vent here. 

Let me set the scene:  flash back a few years.  Here we have a teenager coming into the beginning of their senior year.  They are on top of the world until mere weeks after starting the year they get caught doing drugs.  Well not caught so much as tattled on and are now required to be on probation and take random drug tests.  Here is where mom and dad step in and make sure they understand how bad this is and exert their parentness...except it doesn't last.  They are going to do stuff with friends and going to dances and have their stuff back in just a few weeks.  Where is the lesson to be learned?  I mean they can't let him/her not experience their senior year, it would be regrettable! I guess I just don't understand since I am not a parent. 

Flash forward a few months, its Mardi Gras...said teen is going to a "friends camp" for the holiday.   I know where they are really going. . . come one. . . its Mardi Gras. . . where the hell else are they going to go!? But alas we trust the kid and alas we are caught with our pants down again. . .guess where we were. . . come on guess.  Again there is a punishment but it doesn't last. . .by the end of the school year we are going on senior trip and to the beach with a friends family and getting a brand new car (nicer than anything I can afford with a full time job) for graduation.  Seriously where is the lesson to be learned?! Right...I don't have kids...okay never mind...keeping mouth shut. 

Jump to the first semester of college, its the first football game.  And they get caught with alcohol and a fake ID (apparently this happened to MANY new students as the one I am discussing was 1of 3 I heard of).  As required by law they are ticketed for underage drinking and possession of someone else's ID (I have no idea what it is called but you get the drift).  It sucks but I can't fault them too much here (I was a college student once, HELLO!) but come on at least TRY to hide your underage drinking from the nice police officer. 

A few months later in a drunken stupor they are arrested for a bar fight.  I'm sure the bar fight would have been bad enough but because of the amount of alcohol in their system they feel invincible and put up a fight...for those that don't know that is considered resisting arrest and well cops don't really like it when you do that.  So 9 hours in county lockup and $2,000 later the very upset parents manage to get them out.  Surely the punishment this time will be harsh! But again I am at a loss.  They still keep their vehicle and are still permitted to do whatever they want essentially.  The excuse is well they are in college, I cannot treat them like a child.  And  they are going to pay me back for ALL of this!   Sure they are *rolling eyes*.  Yea well ya know what when I was in college, if I would have done anything 1/16 as bad as that my daddy would have come find me and dragged me home by my hair.  Along with putting me under his own version of house arrest, taking away my vehicle and refusing to lend me any money.  I'd be lucky if he allowed me to even finish school at that point.  I would have been completely CUT OFF!  Apparently that is not how you handle a young miscreant today...now you must not let them feel like you've abandoned them, and coddle them, and let them suckle from your teat until you are in the poor house.  Because we would rather backrupt ourselves than teach a juvenile delinquent a lesson in how to be an adult.  I just...do not tell me I do not understand because I am not a parent!  There is clearly a PROBLEM here!!!!!

And now we are full circle.  We are in the here in now.  And guess what...our little delinquent has no idea how to be a freaking adult!  They still suckle from the parents money teat.  Granted they have not been involved in any more trouble...well as far as we know...but they have no sense of responsibility. i.e. they are failing out of school...as in grades so low they can't even get a loan!   Dad is irritated.  He wants to know why they are the way they are.  Mom is saying they are just a year our of high school, you can't expect them to act like an adult.  And so we see the problem.  If not in college then when should you develop into a responsible adult???  I learned how to manage time and expenses in college.  It prepared me for the real world so to say.  If we baby our college students, they will have NO IDEA how to handle budgets and time.  They will not be able to hold a proper job and possibly never be able to pay bills accordingly.  They may live off of credit and not know why they can't get a decent job.  We are creating a huge problem!  There is a point where you have to push them out of the nest and see if they fly...let them sink or swim...or whatever other analogy you want to use. You can't always protect them from life.  The sooner you let them learn how to handle adult situations (once they are adults) the better they will get at it.  You can be there to assist but you've got to loosen your grip man. 

This isn't the only situation I've heard of others.  There are way more than I'd like to admit.  Don't get me wrong I was spoiled at times and had to be helped out once or twice financially.  But I was also a near straight A student, held down a job and stayed out of trouble.  I earned the right to have mom and dad occasionally spoil me. 

Hmmm I hope that's not bad JuJu . . .

. . . I try not to be superstitious but sometimes my brain wont stop.

For the past week or so when I arrive at my office there is a cute little grasshopper hanging out by the door frame.  Most bugs don't bother me and this one is just kind of adorable...well if he flew and got tangled in my hair that would be a different story but for now cute. 

Each morning he is sitting there and when I would get close he turned towards me but didn't move much.  Almost like a greeting...well in grasshopper language it could be F**K Off but I am choosing to believe he was saying Hello.

It made me happy and smiley every time I saw him. When I would leave for lunch he was still there, a little higher up but there and when we would leave for the day he'd be somewhere near by.  I've gotten used to seeing him now so I was a little sad when I arrived this morning and he wasn't there to greet me.  I though it was odd but in nature I'm sure critters must move on or whatever.  So I walked in and made a comment to my co-worker.  She said she noticed he wasn't there too but was like me, guess he moved on. 

After I got my coffee I walked back to the front to get something and noticed something on the floor...it was my little friend.  I guess he got accidentally knocked inside or something...he was dead.  At least I hope it was an accident because don't forget I do have some "Satan Spawn" co-workers so who knows. 

After I found him I looked up Grasshopper Lore.  Here is what I found.  As a Chinese symbol, the grasshopper offers attributes of longevity, happiness, good health, good luck, wealth, abundance, fertility and virtue. In Ancient Greece the grasshopper is a status symbol. Athenians would adorn themselves with golden grasshopper hair combs and brooches as an indication of nobility. The grasshopper is also a symbol of immortality.

The grasshopper’s coloring is significant.  For instance, green grasshoppers indicate fresh starts (new beginnings), as well as the concepts of youth, rejuvenation, sentimentality, nature, adventure, growth and health.

Oh no, maybe he was my little good luck charm!!! 

Thankfully there doesn't seem to be any lore about dead grasshoppers as in its bad luck or something so, whew.   Like I said I try not to be superstitious but for some reason my brain was really focused on this...I still feel bad for my little friend though :(

Am I the only one who understands Customer Service?!?

I am by no means perfect but I have a thing about poor customer service.  Your sole purpose in any field related to Customer Service is to help the customer, make sure the customer is happy and do things in a timely manner.

This does NOT include acting like an ass on the phone because you are having a bad day, taking 2 days to do something that takes less than 5 minutes, or being non-responsive.  Look I get it. . . if you don't know the answer or are unable to be helpful by ALL means please pass the customer along to someone who is capable but don't just do one of the above.

Maybe because I've been in a sort of customer service role in some way, shape or form for 10 years I have some expectations but I do not think they are ridiculous.  I've been given the task of delegating some of my responsibilities to others to free up my time for new business development.  Its been 1 week. . .in that week I've received complaints from both customers and my counter part here.  The customers say the don't get helped in a a timely manner...the counter part says the customers have unrealistic expectations.

While I do understand that we are spread thin here. . . I do not think their expectations are unrealistic.  Not everyone will want to use an online maintenance system so quit forcing it down their throats.  Yes, please offer as its better for us and them but some people would just rather send an email or call in.  That is the nature of customer service. . . sorry but some people are just helpless get over it.  Your purpose is to assist them to the best of your abilities, quit complaining because its becoming clear that trying to free up some of my time is causing me to spend more time fixing problems with pissed of people.