This is why I make my husband do it!

I am not a "the man does this around the house" or a "woman's job is ___" kinda girl.  Do what you feel comfortable doing and ask help with the rest.  Right?  Right!

Anywhos, I decided to do something I rarely do these days.  I decided to bring the trash bins to the curb.  I will take the trash out to the bin but I don't usually bring the bin out because it tends to be quite hefty.  Well since I was home alone and I didn't want to forget...I decided to be helpful and do this minor task.

I walked up to the bin and pulled...it doesn't budge.
OW! WTF is in here?!?!
So I grab and *heeeeaaaaaave*...no
Hmmmm....

Now a logical person would have OPENED the bin to see What the f**k was going on.  I am not that person.

I did a two handed grab and leaned back with all my weight...it barely budges.  *grrrr*

*spit, spit, rub* (jk that's gross).  I grabbed and pulled with all my might & weight.

It starts to tilt...yes...YES!  Then the weight of it pulls it all the way down and out of my grasp...no...no...NO!

It hits the ground, the lid flies off and PUTRID...I mean absolutely RANCID water comes sloshing out...ALL OVER ME.

*ahhhhhhhh*  I'm not talking about a little water...we are talking GALLONS.  It must have been half full of water.  But also full of...trash.  It contained cat litter, kitchen trash, bathroom trash, dog poop bags, and God knows what else.

It smelled like something died, baked in the sun, was eaten, vomited up, eaten again...and then that creature died too.  Just pure nasty and I was COVERED IN IT!

I did something I would usually not do. I....I...*gulp* I....*shudder*....I scooped up the limp wads of trash goop that washed out with my bare hands that were already covered in stinky brown water.  Picked up the bin.  Walked it to the curb.  Calmly walked back to my door...hid behind my car...and stripped off my clothes, while dancing around  saying "gross gross gross gross." 

I am not sure anyone saw me...but if they did, they got a great view of me in my bra & thong as I bolted into my laundry room.

I tossed everything in the wash, stripped off my undies, and took the HOTTEST shower I could stand.

Either the smell is still on me or its just burned into my nostrils bc I can still smell it.....

I don't know what divinity I pissed off but I am sorry...please stop torturing me!!!