I shall name it Houdini...then kill it! After screaming like I'm being murdered and having a mini freak out in the back yard....

Sooooooooooooooo I HATE one thing about living in the South.   While I don't like the heat, humidity, hurricanes, etc...those aren't what I am talking about.  I am talking about bugs.  Not all bugs...one in particular!

Right, so we all know which bug I am referring to.  If not see here and here and here. 

Moving on, Saturday night was just like many other Saturday nights.  I was being a bump on a log watching mind numbing TV.  As per my usual routine I let Speedy out to tee tee, hubs was asleep on the couch.  I opened the back door and *BAM* something jumped...ONTO MY FACE.  I squeaked a little but I realized it was frog.  Listen here buckaroo, you don't want to come in my house, you will get eaten.  So I maneuvered him off my face and into on of my potted plants.  Speedy and I were star gazing listening to the fiesta across the street (not super loud but I could hear the music).  After a bit we went back to the door. 

Now mind you I had no outside lights on (I was star gazing) so the only light is from the Moon and the little showing through the closed blinds.  I turned to open the door.

Cool, no frogs or lizards!  I turned back to Speedy with my hand on the knob and pushed.  (this all happened in SECONDS)

What...?

*Jumps back* WHAT?!? while my eyes zero in on NOT A F**KING FROG

Speedy pushes the door the rest of the way open to go in as I yell "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

The f**ker is half dead thanks to my fumigation so it kind of just falls off the door...onto the dog.

He jumps
I scream for real
he realizes whatever is on him is not letting go AND mom is freaking out
He runs INSIDE 
F********k  *still freaking out* trying to get the dog out of the doorway
He shakes
It takes flight
I run back outside losing my god dammed mind
I am yelling "its inside, its inside"
Speedy is trying to find and kill whatever is distressing mom
Hubs is trying to figure out why I am losing my mind while still half asleep
Not wanting this thing to disappear IN my home I run in screaming ala William Wallace, shoe raised in hopes of Victory
Its f**king M.I.A.
*$hit $hit $hit*
Then I see old lady stalking my couch
She dives
It comes running out at top speed (well top speed being half dead)
Speedy goes for it
Old Lady goes for it
I go for it
Hubs yells "what the f**k is going on?!?!?!"
I beat the creature into oblivion with my shoe while the animals watch
As the haze clears I hear "I think its dead..."
I smoosh it one more time for good measure
Hubs goes to sweep it up
It flips over and attempts to run on like two legs with its guts hanging out
I start screaming again
Hubs is freaking a bit
The dog is barking
The cats are stalking
Our neighbors have now turned OFF the music and are listening to this fiasco, I assume
I throw my shoe at it and it stops moving
Hubs flings it out the door with the broom and we slam the door and lock it...because, ya know, bugs don't come through locked doors *rolling eyes* 

How the hell am I supposed to go to sleep after that?!?!!?  I couldn't.  Every time I shut my eyes, all I saw were those bugs flying at me.  I am getting chills now just thinking about it *shudder*. 

But seriously, I don't know where the thing came from.  One second it wasn't there and the next it was at eye level twitching its little antennas, taunting me!!!!  I didn't here it flutter past my head so I don't think it flew to the window... I just don't know...