Kill it, Kill it with Fire!!!

So I am having all kinds of crazy around my home lately!  Last night I was outside with my dogs, it was just after the sun set.  And I heard a noise like a faint buzz saw or something of that nature.  It was a very odd noise but that's the only thing I could associate it with.  I was like what the heck is that?!  I figured a neighbor was doing some late night DIY project or something. 

Flash Forward to this morning...I was again outside with the dogs when I noticed a pile of dirt near one of my stepping stones.  I was still a bit bleary eyed so I was like "is that an ant pile? It doesn't look like an ant pile.  Is that a hole?!  Maybe I should get a closer look."  It looked something like the below.

This is not my picture but I couldn't find any info on the source, sorry.

So as I am bent over looking at this mound I see dirt start moving from the hole...WTH?!  Mind you my dog Convict came over to investigate as well.  As we stared, completely enthralled as to what this was (I was thinking small furry rodent), this is what emerged...

 

 

Photo: http://lepidopteradiary.blogspot.com/2010/04/more-on-mothing.html

 Imagine seeing THAT come out of the ground mere inches from me and my dog.  My thoughts "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, kill it with fire!!!!!" Convicts response, a huff and a whine.  It looks like some cross between a cricket, some kind of burrowing creature and the bug who cannot be named (ya know the ones I am absolutely terrified of).  I swear it looked right at me.  I picture my reaction being something like....

Meanwhile convict ran off, sacrificing me to the weird insect that just came out of the ground.  Since I didn't have any "Fire" readily available I grabbed the next best thing...a can of wasp spray.  I had it out because we are ALWAYS having issues with wasps.  If it kills wasps surely it will kill this nightmarish thing.  So I sprayed into the burrow...

Feeling very proud of myself for killing the pet of Satan, I did a happy dance...until I looked back at the hole and realized the THING was still alive, bouncing from left to right and was looking at me....*crap crap crap* so I ran inside and admitted defeat. 

I Googled what kind of bug it might be and discovered....its called a Mole Cricket...they are VERY common in the South...and they can wreak havoc on your lawn.  *sobbing* 

http://alltheragefaces.com/face/sad-crying

I just got my lawn back to pre-flood prettiness.  Apparently it is best to catch them early (I am hoping this is the only one but I doubt it).  They are most active in the late evening and early morning so that is when you should treat for them because they are near the surface and easier to kill AND they tend to do their "chirping" in their burrow...OMG the "buzz saw"...the "buzz saw" sound last night was the effing cricket!!! Something in my brain was trying to alert me to this new found foe.

So then I looked up how to kill them since clearly wasp spray does not work.  I saw the usual granular lawn treatment that includes Mole Cricket prevention. Ok cool, guess what I am buying later.  Something caught my eye in one of the results.   They have a natural predator *sweet!*.  Its a black wasp with a red bum that apparently can only be seen during the brightest hours of the day and can kill the mole cricket by laying a parasitic larvae in it that will feed on the host, eventually killing it BUT it doesn't kill the Mole Cricket babies which are very destructive. 

http://entnemdept.ufl.edu/creatures/beneficial/larra_wasps.htm

Wait..that wasp looked familiar...why does that look...Uh no...that strange looking wasp I killed yesterday...the reason the wasp spray was out...it was black with a colored body....CRAP!!!  I hope there are more...

Sometimes I hate nature :P

Do dogs have nightmares?

I mean I would assume that is possible since I am 100% certain they dream.

I ask this because around 3:51AM this morning I was awakened by something.  My arm was hanging over the side of my bed and I felt something nudging my hand.  So I instinctively swatted it away thinking it was one of the animals just being curious.  A few seconds later I was nudged again a little more forceful.  My brain woke up and I was like "Oh no!!!! One of them is going to be sick or has to go out, quick get up before you have to clean up a mess!!!"  I opened my eyes to pitch blackness, I just bought blackout curtains so there is ZERO light coming in from outside. *CRAP* I started saying, "hold on buddy, I'm coming" as I scrambled to find my cell.  When the phone lit up my side of the room I saw the most terrified looking dog.  His ears were back, his eyes were huge and he was using all of his self control to NOT jump in the bed (they are not allowed in the bed)...he looked so scared.  My first thought was when did Convict become Courage the Cowardly Dog....

Photo: http://www.funbumperstickers.com/detail.aspx?ID=3806

So I sat up and started petting him.  "what's wrong buddy??? It's okay.  Come on, lay down.  Lets go back to sleep." Every time my phone light would go off he would shove his head into my hand...when I turned it back on he relaxed.  This went on for what seemed like an eternity!!!  He moved away from me so I figured we were done.  I got all comfy laying on my side *ahhh relax* when suddenly I felt like I was being watched. . . .  I clicked my phone light on and saw a face on the edge of my bed...

Holy crap dog, what is your deal.  He whined and whimpered and huffed so I pet him again.  Poor dog looked frazzled.  I had to get out of bed and sit on the floor on his bed until he got all comfy.  Then I was FINALLY able to go to sleep...except I couldn't...all I could think of was what the heck could have scared Mr. Daredevil like that...what is in my room...is it a huge bug who cannot be named...is it a ghost...maybe he had a nightmare...do dogs have nightmares...wonder what kind of nightmare he had...I think you see where this is going.  My brain was going a mile a minute...guess I'm never gong back to sleep.  

I have no idea how long I laid there but I finally started to drift into dreamland.  *bang, bang bang, skitter skitter, hiss, bang bang*  WTF I'm up, I'm up.  Something jumps on top of my chest *ahhhhh*, I clicked on my phone

Christ on a cracker cat, WTH is your problem?!?!?!? She was puffed out, ears back, and making all sorts of weird noises. And as fast as she was there she was gone.  Great!  Is she hunting something or did she get into the nip again...  Well since I was awakened so suddenly I now had to potty... should be a private, relaxing moment...HA not in my house

Oh my God!  Can y'all please leave me alone!?!?

So needless to say I really never got back into a good sleep and I am pretty sure my cat spooked the dog.  My alarm went off at 6AM and my animals were bright eyed and bushy tailed...I was more droopy eye and frizzy hair *yawn*. 

As I was dressing for work my cat came tearing into the room. She skidded to a halt right by my feet and let out the loudest, longest MEOW, I have ever heard from her.  Then she turned tail and skittered off *bitch*, its actually really funny because we have tile and it takes her a couple seconds to get traction.

I am hyped up on caffeine at the moment. . . it's going to be a long day.  Oh yea and my husband and the older dog SLEPT through all of this!!!!!

Broadway Nails imPRESS Press-on Manicure

I received the Broadway Nails imPRESS Press-on Manicure set free from Influenster in my Spring Vox Box.  They are a great shade of purple (my fav color) called Joyride.  I love having pretty painted nails but I don't always have time to give myself a proper manicure.  This idea of these nails seems like an ideal solution.

I followed the directions picking out sizes and cleaning my nails with the included pad before applying. The nails are very pretty, a flattering color (its a deep purple), and are very easy to apply. My issues...where shall I start...well they felt fake. Like when I was typing with them on; I did not have faith that they would stay intact, they felt moveable. But for about 3 days they didn't move so that was good. Second issue is I have very petite hands which means tiny narrow, long nails. This means even the smaller ones look abnormal on my little fingers. They are a little too wide for me. And they are insanely short.  I had to cut my real nails down to the skin area so they wouldn't show above the inPRESS nail.  Also, they constantly tangled in my hair, which my hair is long so it was quite frustrating. But they looked very pretty and I loved the color. 

Moving on.  I put them on, on Friday...Monday night my one on my left middle finger popped off.  I wasn't doing anything just stirring pasta.  Maybe the heat affected it.  Once it was off there was no getting it back on.  But because I really liked them and the missing one was a conversation starter I decided to leave them on a little longer.  Thursday Morning, so 6 days in, the left index popped off.   *another one bites the dust* guess its time to take them off.

So my thoughts on them.  They are cute and easy and not very expensive.  I would totally purchase them again for a special occasion.  Unless you never do dishes, clean, fix your hair, cook, whatever they will not last 7-14 days.  But for 5.99-7.99 you can't beat them. 

Pennington® Smart Feed™ Sprayer System

I received the Pennington® Smart Feed™ Sprayer System because I am a BzzAgent and I get to try things out for free as long as I give my honest opinion of how it works.

A few weeks ago after receiving my BzzKit I tried out my cool new sprayer system.  My garden having been through a major flood looks a little rough.  Now that I have time to work on it I weeded it, did some hedging, planted some new plants and wanted to fertilize it properly to give it that extra boost.  My initial experience was not pleasant.  After hooking the sprayer up to my hose I turned the water on and got sprayed with water and possibly fertilizer I'm not sure.  I immediately turned it off thinking I hooked it up wrong but I could see no issues.  I detached it and reattached it hoping that would fix it.  It only made it worse.  When the water got me a second time I screeched because the water was a little chilly.   I decided not to waste the pellets I had in the canister and fertilize the garden anyway.  By the time I was done I looked like I just went swimming and I am not certain how well the fertilizer was dispersed in my garden.

After a few days under direction from BzzAgent I contacted Pennington to tell them about the defective sprayer.   The lady I spoke with was extremely helpful.  She asked numerous questions about what happened.  I relayed my story and she apologized.  I told her I was a BzzAgent and that I was trying to review it but I can't give an accurate review because it didn't work correctly.  She made notes of how the defective one looked and what it did.  She then said she would ship me a new sprayer and more product because it probably didn't disperse correctly.

Flash forward to today.   I was finally able to use my replacement sprayer system.  To my pleasure the new sprayer worked perfectly.  It didn't soak me and it dispersed the product evenly.  I am definitely pleased with the ease of use.  It used minimal water and let me feed my whole front garden in about 10 minutes.  I think now that it was done properly I will see the results I want. 

I looked like the crazy cat lady that tried go out in public and was terribly unsuccessful at dressing herself...

So the last few weeks at work have been stressful!  We had a major project with one of larger customers.  Like the type of project that if they would have had to do it themselves they would have just said "Eff it I'm quitting".  We are talking about days, upon days of tedious organizing and double and triple checking things.  Just plain ol' boring shtuff.

So over the course of 2 weeks we collected and separated and alphabatized all of this crapola.  And Friday, glorious Friday we finished.  Alleluia was sung, angels trumpeted, I may have orgasmed...who knows.  Point being it was done, thank tha lord! So today being the bubbly bright little worker I am, I went to deliver the goods to our customer, to make nicey and make sure they knew we took care of all the hard work. 

I showed up this morning all excited to finally be rid of this.  I had a bounce in my step and was just beaming.  So as I drove to the customer's office I sang my little heart out in the car and felt like I was Queen of the World!  When I pulled up my first dilemma happened.  This box probably weighs 1/2 as much as me and I have to get it out of my trunk, across the parking lot and up the stairs.  Hmmmmm, I can do this. . . I carry small children for short periods of time...this should be easy peasy.

Bwahahahaha, I remember why I am not Mrs. Optimism...because THE law always wins out...whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and I will be a hot mess!  So there I am pulling a giant rectangle, that weighs more than my 6 years old "niece", out of my little car.  I finally get it out....but am having issues balancing it on my leg while I try to close the trunk and not drop everything and trying to not flash the world because well....that is a possibility when you are wearing a skirt.  In hindsight my adorable outfit may not have been the best choice to wear today.  Moving on, I'm also trying not to touch the trunk because...well because my car is filthy and I have on a pretty black skirt.  I managed to do this somehow only to be greeted with the reality that the ginormous parking lot is gravel and I'm in heels.  *Oh my God what was I thinking dressing like this?!*  I slowly made my way across the parking lot on wobbly ankles that threatened to twist with every step.  I looked like a baby deer taking its first steps on hot lava rocks.  By the time was about 1/2 way I was perspiring, which is southern girl for "sweating my @$$ off", but luckily some LARGE kind fellow realized my struggles and came to my rescue.  "Alleluia, there is a God"  and he likes to watch me in socially awkward situations that make me have near mental breakdowns in public.  My Good Samaritan hoisted the box up over his massive belly and in doing so I heard the contents inside the box shift.  *queue nervous laughter* "Excuse me sir, thanks for the help but please please please be careful with that.  The contents are in a particular order and I'd hate for them to get mixed up." He says "I got this lady" with the biggest Teddy Bear smile.... *hahahaha ok, ok...ok ...it'll be fine....hahahaha*

With each painful step I hear the contents shift in the box.  It is like nails on a freakin chalkboard!  I am trying my hardest not to be a royal bitch but he is just nonchalantly carrying the box.  *silent scream, silent screeeeeeaaaaaaammmmmm* I made another comment about being careful and this time he just flat out ignored me...then....hahahah then....he said "naw baby, I'm helping a sweet little white girl carry something".  *holy shiitake this mother effer is on the phone....hey hey hey sir...'scuse me....AHHHHHH*.  I felt like a little gnat trying to warn and unsuspecting Giraffe there was a lioness about to eat his @$$.

NOLAGurl translation - "big mother effer is totally ignoring me and there is NOTHING I can do to get his flipping attention while he destroys 2 weeks worth of HARD WORK!"

So we go up the stairs *slosh, slosh, slosh goes the inside of the box*.  I am a jittery mess of nerves with a nervous giggle and am just utterly frustrated at this point.  We get to my final destination and he puts my box down and bolts before I can even utter a half-hearted "Thank You".  Guess "baby" was tired of being ignored :P.  I frantically open the box to see the damage as my customer comes out of his office to greet me.  I must have looked like death because before he can even say hello, his smile fades and he says "are you OK?".  *hahaha sure, I'm fine.  two weeks of organizing undone in a mere second. hahaahah sure sure sure, I am fine, twitch twitch* I managed to say "sure, I am great.  Its just extremely warm out there and I wanted to make sure I brought everything *insert the most reassuring smile I can muster (which probably looked fairly demented)* Thankfully my customer is about my age and VERY laid back and just started laughing and asked if his hulking worker messed anything up.  Finally releasing the breath I didn't realize I was holding, I kinda laughed.  I checked the contents and it was only slightly askew...easily fixed *whew*.  Then....hahahha....then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored window...I looked like the crazy cat lady that tried go out in public and was terribly unsuccessful at dressing herself.  Ok maybe not that bad but my skirt had a nice size dust smudge from the box I guess...I had a sweat mark on my side (which you could only see when I raised my arm but STILL)....my hair was unbelievably windblown (a MESS!) with a random piece stuck on my lip (how did I not notice that?!)....and I still had my nervous fake smile.  Oh for F****s sake!  So as I was rambling I tried to casually dust my skirt, smooth my hair (without raising my arms too much) and not look so frazzled!  Then he walked me out and I was like well that ended better than I thought *breathes sigh of relief*.

After returning to my office I was all chipper and relaxed, until I went to the restroom...as I was leaving something caught my eye in the mirror...I had a giant gray dust mark across my @$$!  Like two perfect circles...one on each cheek.  I guess when I hoisted the box away from my vehicle I leaned back against it for balance...It was like a beacon saying "please stare at my bootay".  I was like "geez why didn't so and so say that was there?!?"  Then I was like yea right, like he'd say ANYTHING....that would be like totally admitting he was staring at my butt....which is probably exactly what he was doing as we left! 

So that's my adventure for today, hope I made you smile!

When did it become not "OK" to be yourself. . .

. . . oh right, its never been "OK" to be yourself. Especially if that self is not in line with what others think is "cool" or acceptable

I can't believe I actually just said that.  I mean I am by no means in High School, yet I am experiencing and observing grown @$$ people (yes I said grown @$$) treating others poorly because they are different.  Shouldn't we have all learned, possibly in Kindergarten, that being different isn't necessarily bad???  We are all important!  I know, I know it is said that people are predispositioned to be wary of anything they don't understand.  I just thought with all of the advancements and knowledge we have now that maybe, just maybe we were outgrowing this barbaric attitude.  Wow am I wrong, and I hate being wrong.

I am not putting all persons in this category but there are many more than I'd like to admit that fit into this group.  I was never one to be bullied back in the day.  I wasn't a "cool" person but I wasn't a "nerd".  I liked what I liked and no one hated on me for it.  Actually, I had lots of friends of all shapes, sizes and interests.  I enjoyed science, I was good at math, I had good grades and I was in many extra-curricular activities and I loved Star Trek (shush).  I went to college, I partied and I managed to get a degree.  My point is, aside from all this "normalcy" I've always been drawn towards things considered "nerdy" but I've never really been ousted because of those interests. I knew of others that were ousted but I myself never truly experienced it and I tried my darnedest to not be associated with those that were so harshly judgmental.  Actually I made more of an effort to befriend those being persecuted to let them know they weren't alone.  I wasn't always successful but I did try to be the better person.

Flash forward a sum of years. . . some of those that were hurt back in the day have become the persecutors.  Again let me say...NOT ALL...but the reversal is astonishing.  People who know what its like to be an outcast for liking something different or being nerdy are the ones dishing out the judgement.  And then of course there are the others that never quite grew out of the "I'm cooler than you phase".

Why am I ranting, you may ask.  Well because as I get older I am not hiding what I like.  Not that I really hid it before but I guess to an extent I did around certain people.  Regardless, I am still me.  I still love science, I'm still decent at math, I watch Sci-Fi shows & read fantasy novels and I still make friends with almost everyone (I don't hold against you for who you are, what you like, who you like or what you believe).  But as of late I have been criticized for being like this.  I'm too nice, I'm too agreeable and I don't "like the right things" or say the right things or even like the right people.  Basically I am being told I need to grow up and be an adult.  And I've watched others in various aspects of my life change themselves so that they aren't bullied for being different.  But since when is being passionate about...well anything...being childish.  Yes I obsess a little over fictional characters and situations but I am fully aware that they are in fact fictional and it does not actually affect my reality.  Its my escape from a normal world.  Yes, I have a really good life.  I do, I am blessed so they say but sometimes you need an escape and that's what these "nerdy" things are for me...an escape.  A time where I don't have to think about money or work or cleaning the house.  I get to travel in time as a companion, hang out with supernatural creatures, be the heroine and fail miserably.  There are lessons in all these stories. . .accept people for who they are because they are important and they accept you for who you are with all of your flaws and desires.  What makes my likes and wants any less important than yours?  So I am passionate about science and fiction. . . you are passionate about sports or maybe fashion or maybe reality TV or maybe you like playing marbles with glass eyeballs....While I do love me some sports and I dress to impress (sometimes), I am not an huge fan of reality TV.  It annoys me to no end but ya know what if you like it, more power to you.  The glass eyeballs is a little odd but hey whatever floats your boat.  My point is I'm not going to stop liking you because you enjoy something I don't (unless it involves bestiality, murder, torture, etc. . . in that case I think there is a nice padded room with your name on it). . . so don't criticize me for my passions, please.

My lesson to my future little ones and any little ones that look up to me will always be don't change yourself because you don't fit in someone's mold.  There is no cookie cutter way to be . . . if there was there wouldn't be any individuals just a mass of the same, like I don't know...like algae...hell even algae varies a little.  Just be you and if they don't like you for being you than they do not deserve your friendship or love.  Okay rant over. . . closing with some words of wisdom.


One of my favorite quotes from a fictional and flawed hero "Nobody important. Blimey, that's amazing. Did you know that in 900 years of time and space I've never met someone who wasn't important before?" ~The Doctor


This doesn't just apply to my nerdy side. . .this applies to people who are different in ANY way. We are all important damn it! :)

I think I spooked myself. . .

Ok so I am now home, right?  Well like the day before we moved my hubs and I were cleaning alone, at night in our empty home.  We took a break to eat and while we were talking in the kitchen we heard something fall in the back of the house.  It scared the crap out of us, since there is really nothing in here that could fall! We did rock, paper, scissors to see who got to investigate. . . I lost.  As I'm walking down the hall to the back there was a loud noise like something fell in the room I was passing.  I screamed, my hubs came running and we started joking about ghosts.  We both watch shows like Supernatural, Ghost Hunters and other such shows.  So hubs being the silly childman he is said "if there is someone here with us knock three times" and started laughing.   We continued our search and as we peeked into the hall bathroom we heard another noise that sounded like a knock.  We both got the frissons.  So he said "we were talking knock again", immediately there was a noise in the wall right next to me.  I freaked out and we decided to leave.

We moved in and a day or so later found out we had a sewage line break/blockage which from what I've been told can cause "knocking" in the pipes due to trapped air/gas or something like that.  Ahhhhh ok our ghost was a sewer issue.  Mystery solved.

A few days later I was home alone and kept hearing a noise.  It was like rustling paper but there were no fans on and the a/c heater was off.  I searched around but couldn't find anything.  Then it stopped so whatever, right.  And here and there I would here stuff over the next few days.  You know like something fell but I've been attributing it to a messy house and a curious kitty.

Tonight I am sitting on my couch watching "the woman in black". Well it's a very jumpy movie so I was already a little tense lounging on my couch.  When suddenly a stuffed "screaming monkey" doll, started screeching as if someone slammed it. The reason I am a bit wigged out is that monkey hasn't worked in quite sometime and its just hanging on a lamp...on the other side of the room...and no animals were near it.  I squeaked, my cat puffed out like a pipe cleaner and one of the dogs growled.

So as I type this I am a ball of anxiety.  I am wondering if a playful spirit has taken residence since we were gone for 6 months or maybe I'm insane.  Maybe we will never know.  So here I sit...alone...watching Fright Night because apparently I don't ever want to sleep again.

Hopefully, I don't had anymore suspicious happenings tonight.