WTF am I watching!?!?!?

I've seen all the Sharknados.  Remember Cheesy Sci-fi is my jam!!!! But what the actual f**k am I watching?????

So we Time Travel to the Jurassic period.  Fin is chasing a f**kig t-rex looking thing with a bag with the head of something in it.  A Megladon looking thing JUMPS onto land and eats the f**king T-Rex.

But wait there's more.  Fin is in the truck looking at a HOLOGRAM of his kid basiaclly saying he's the ONLY HOPE and needs to stop the FIRST sharknado.  Hello Obi-wan....What?!?!?!?!

Oh and April is there....not dead.  She learned how to fly a f**king dino and calls it...wait for it... TARA!!  Are you serious?!?!?!?!!?

Then they are riding a freaking dino IN THE SHARKNADO to stop it.

Fin jumps on a flying shark to 'save humanity' and says "its feeding time" Oh.My.God!!!!

This is the first 10 minutes.  Its awful.  I love it!!!!!!!!!!

I can't y'all...I just can't....

Wait wait wait...its a "Time-nado" and he says "let's do the time warp again" and I'm just dying on my couch.

JFC Morganna is...not that there is anything wrong with that but...WTF is happening..she..he...no definitely she...OMG?!?!!?

That's it I am "live blogging" this $hit.

They just met Merlin and its Neil Degrasse Tyson!!!!!

He's carrying his wife's robot head in a bag...I am done.

"A little less needy and a little more...knight-y"

Dragon sharks...why......why.....WHY!

Medieval Sharknado.....

Did she...did she just say "I'm melting" ?!?!?!

They got catapulted into the future.....

The British are coming...pahahahaha

The sharks are coming...I'm dead

The British are throwing flying sharks at us....

F**king Ben Stein is Hamilton...JFC

We won the revolution by blowing up a sharknado....

A chocolate blast from the past...really?!?!?

Go ahead shark my day....

"I'm not gonna take this anymore" - Dee Snyder

She's shooting laser beams from her eyes!!!!

Tori Spelling??!!?  What?!?!

Oh my GOD THIS IS THE CHEESIEST EVER!!!!!!

Is that...is that a Brady?!?!?!  Like Peter f**king Brady?!?!?!  I can't....

"My name is Nova Clark, you killed my grandfather...prepare to die". really?!!??!?!?

This CGI is AMAZING!!!!!

Is he going to lasso a shark to get speed...no...NO...ahahahahahaha

They time jumped to 20013....

Flying robo shark?!?!?!  How...who created that thing?!?!!?

How did they keep straight faces while filming this!??!?!

Jesus Christ its f**king Corpse Bride...hahahhaa

Emotionally deranged easy bake oven...pahahahaha

Crazy clone April froze Sky in "Carbonite" she went full Star Wars.

And she went full Sith Lord...Lightening form the fingers and all....

Physics....Physics...phyyyyyysssssiiiiccccccssssss

"Great Scott" I mean this whole movie has been a bad BTTF pun...right?!?!?! 

He got hit by the f**king kitchen sink!!!!

He kissed a head in a shark mouth!!!!

We end at the beginning...they went all Harry Potter on us!!!

Please tell me he gets eaten by a shark giving this speech!!!!

Damn...hahahahahahaah

No, I do not want to eat Fido!!!!

Even if its just ice cream....

Link

Why is this a thing?!?!?!   I mean there is that "rumor" that some Asian style food places serve dog/cat as food but you can't look at your Garlic Chicken and say "hmmmm, that looks suspiciously like Mittens"!

"Awww, look how cute...I want to EAT YOUR FACE!". 

Okay wait I say that to my pups but I am just loving on them not ACTUALLY eating their faces!!!!

These are so hyper realistic.  I can't not see a cute little puppy!!!

Ahhhhh, the humanity!

 You MONSTER!!!!

Oh look the whole family can share in the devouring of Fluffy's endtrails.

So do you eat the face or the @$$ first?

That sounds dirty...but really...

This is wrong....soooo sooooo sooooooooo wrong. 

Yea yea I know dogs are on the menu in some....countries and I don't like that but whatever.  I see them as pets so it really weirds me out.

This place is in Thailand so different cultures and such but I am so disturbed by this.  This looks like Little Bit when we got her!!!  She was a wrinkly little psychopath but she's our psychopath and I don't want to eat her likeness.......

You have no power over me!

Am I the only one who may have caved when Jareth said "I ask for so little. Just fear me. Love me. Do as I ask, and I shall be your slave."

Gah, I love that movie!  Maybe its because its part of my childhood (I was like 5 when it came out!) or maybe because its Jim Henson but whatever the reason its one of my favs. 

I know I know I seem to have a lot of those but this movie and a few others really shaped a whole generation.

There aren't many 30 somethings that haven't seen at least one of these....

The Labyrinth

The Dark Crystal

The Neverending Story

clearly there are MANY MANY more that I can list from the 80's but these three.  These three were "kids" movies.  Have you seen these movies?!?!!?  These are NOT kids movies. But they were.

At a young age we were dipped in death, disappointment, pain, etc.  Today these movies wouldn't make it past the sample crowds.  Parents would never purposefully expose their kids to these situations. 

For God's sake I am over 35 and I still cry when Artax gives up in the Swamp of Sadness!!! 

Also, who didn't want to be friends with Hoggle and Ludo and Didymus!  Who didn't want a Luck Dragon?!?!?  Who didn't want a Goblin King willing to give them the world but wouldn't sacrifice their baby brother?!?!!? Wait......

I can't say much about the Dark Crystal because what else can I say.  It was f**king DARK but I've seen it a million times.  I can quote it.  Its...its part of my childhood...its...its part of me. 

"Another world, another time, in the age of wonder. A thousand years ago, this land was green and good - until the Crystal cracked. For a single piece was lost; a shard of the Crystal. Then strife began, and two new races appeared: the cruel Skeksis, the gentle Mystics."

The 80's was a strange time but it was my time.  I was a kid of the 80's.  I had cabbage patch and rainbow bright. I watched Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow.  I've seen all these movies countless times, and now I want to binge them all again. 

So off I go to find my ancient copy of The Labyrinth.  Because while I know...I KNOW I can find it online, I am going old f**king school tonight.  My dusty @$$ VCR up in a forgotten closet is doing its duty tonight and letting me watch Jareth and Sarah, like I did the 1st time........on VHS!

Stop laughing!!!