And then John Cusack walked out from behind the bushes holding a boombox over his head

Totally plausible...right?!?  But how else can I say the Universe wants me to be part of a cheesy romantic comedy!  Hey Universe, guess what...I'm HAPPILY married!  I don't need to meet anyone...I'm good *plfeet*.

Let me set a scene, little blonde looking like she should probably try harder decides to take her unruly pups to the park.  Normally this is not something I do alone but it was a necessity today so off I went with my 61 lb speedy and 30 lb humpty dumpty.  To say it was interesting is an understatement.

Mind you I was in hot pink running capris and a teal shirt with lazy girl bun...

- they immediately barked and made a 4 y/o cry (they wanted to play but can be scary...LOUD)
- they tried to make friends with the lady in the car next to us
- they spotted items of interest that happened to be in different directions
          - My shoulders have felt better....
- Things that were said: "No", "Stop", "OMG don't eat that", "slow down", "I SAID SLOW DOWN"

Then one went through my legs and around.  The other went around my legs and through...both took off running in different directions "No no no nooooo......" *ahhhhhhh!*.

My legs were immediately cinched together.  Speedy took a tumble because he was tangled too while humpty dumpty ran in circles.  I was in a slow motion fall to the ground *tiiiiiberrrrrrrr* thinking "Aw f**k me, this is going to hurt."  When suddenly I am being caught by a solid brick wall.  "Wait, I'm in the middle of a park...". 

Turns out the "brick wall" was a RIDICULOUSLY muscular...attractive...30 something who was jogging on the path when he saw my dilemma and came to my rescue.  Speedy decided "Must murder new person touching mom" and started freaking out.  But he was tangled so all he managed to do was restrain both of us further and make my hero laugh, *great*.

After getting me into a semi-sitting position we somehow got me and my idiot canines detangled.  I said thank you like a million times and we went our separate ways. 

As I was hurriedly walking away dumb and dumber saw a something and took off (at least in the same direction) 

...the leashes locked and I leaned all the way back to stopped their forward progress...my 120 with a lean back and legs planted vs their 60 + 30 running at full speed ended with me flying forward

and yelling "Stop trying to eat a squirrel, you @$$holes!" 

Which got me a giggle from somewhere behind me.  I didn't turn around...

I was only out there for 30 minutes....guess who is getting leash trained soon....