I walked into my own worst nightmare!

So I should be in my happy place.  We are moving closer to family and friends.  But I also get a glimpse into the lives of other people...and can I just say

People...PEOPLE!  When trying to sell your house I highly recommend CLEANING IT!  I don't even need immaculate but if I walk in and see food crusted on the stove burners....EWWWW!  Or just clutter.  So...much...CLUTTER.  Come on! At least put your $hit into a closet/cabinet.  Give me the illusion of clean.

Moving on.  So we've been to probably 20 houses in the last 2.5 weeks.  We've seen immaculate houses that are way too tiny and disgusting houses that are the perfect size but just EW and way outdated.

Then there was the nightmare house (not to be confused with the viral one with the mandatory tenant). LINK

As we are walking in "so this house just came on the market because the previous owner died..." I stopped walking. "...and the kids don't want it" *noticed I stopped walking*  "Not in the house...NOT in the house".  Okay lets go in. 

The first thing we notice is a weird odor.  Not bad just weird.  We were in the living room/den but we can't pinpoint it and just attribute it to closed up house.  We should have left at this point but we didn't.  Mind you based on the pics this house was cute.  Needed a little work but nothing more than painting really....

Oh how wrong we were.....

Here is a punch list of $hit:
- tried to go out back, the sliding glass door FELL OFF THE TRACK!!!! *$hit*
- More than half the lights won't come on
- We walk into the 1st bedroom and see a dead bug who shall not be named *eeeeeeee* and then another...and then another...*ahhhhhhhh*

- There are holes punched in the wall

We move on and hear hysterical giggling coming from the kitchen then, "NOLAGurl is gonna love this house"

- I turned the corner and see a literal Bug Who Shall Not Be Named GRAVEYARD.  They are covering the floor.  I am in f**king flip flops are you kidding me?!?!?!

- I looked down and realized I am surrounded. As we were walking in the almost dark, I didn't see them.  They are all over the place and I am about to lose my f**king $hit! 

- I darted into the master bedroom (less critters) but more holes...like fist holes...and dents.  Was there a MMA fight in here?!?!?

- There are tiles kicked out in the bathroom...seriously WTF happened here?!?!

We've made it this far, maybe we can get out another door so we don't have to trek back through the dead bugs........

- We get to the side door and open it.  The dirt outside is a foot higher than the bottom of the door...

- Our agent steps out and decides there is no other way out but to go back the way we came *wah*

- We carefully tread back through the bug grave and end up in the living room....we figured it out....there is GAS seeping out of the fireplace....we all but ran out the front door.

- At this point my agent realized a bug bit her while we were inside *we will have to amputate that foot* and my hubs realized he had a splinter *we will definitely have to amputate that!*

Our agent was mortified that we walked into that.  The house was listed as "VERY GOOD"  there was nothing close to GOOD about that place!  The hubs said he stopped counting bugs when he hit 50....when he hit 50!  FIFTY!!!!!  I'm gonna cry!

Conclusion: The man was sick and couldn't properly care for the house.  He passed and his kids got the estate.  They tried to split everything and got into multiple fights (holes in walls).  They realized the house was infested and bug bombed (yay) but didn't bother to come back and clean up the carnage (booo).

I couldn't consider living there.  I'd be paranoid about...THOSE BUGS... ALL.THE.TIME and what the f**k else could be living in that house?!?!?  If that many crawled out to die on the floor, what is decomposing in the walls?!?!  I am so grossed out!!!!!!!