It was broad daylight! They don't like DAYLIGHT!!!!! They are the vampires of the bug kingdom!!!!

That is my ONLY comfort when it comes to a bug who shall not be named!  If it is Daytime you will not see them.  Well unless you pick up a rock or dig into a shadowy place...then you are just asking for one to fly at your face.

I home defense my house annually and usually don't have issues inside.  We treat the grass and gardens with  bug be gone pellets or whatever and water them in.  This usually keeps most creepy crawlers away.

In my quest to murder the shrubbery I discovered something.  Well I discovered a few things but I discovered something that made me look like a COMPLETE lunatic (like climbing a tree with sharp objects made me look normal)!  I was hacking away at the bushes near my front door when I heard a noise.  It sounded like dead leaves falling so I ignored it...I mean I was trimming a lot that is to be expected.

I heard it again as I walked away...hmmmm...maybe a bird...  I decided to investigate (BAD IDEA).  As I parted the branches about 20 (I may be exaggerating slightly) bugs who shall not be named came running and FLYING out.  F**k me sideways!!!!!! *runs away screaming like I am being murdered*.  "OMG they are on me! I know they are on me!!!!"

Sooooo none were on me *whew* but they seemed to have disappeared *gulp*.  Are they back in the bush!?!?  Did they find a crack and go in the house?!?!  Are they laying in wait to ambush me?!?!?  HELLLLLLP!  I threw my shears at the bush (shut up it was the ONLY option).  Nothing came out "f**k".  I went inside to get bug spray.  Speedy attacked my back...all I could picture was...

I practically ripped off my shirt...nothing was there...*whew*  Alright, lets do this!

I walked out the door and heard *flutter, flutter* by my ear..."Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I've never run so fast in my life!  I was in the street before I knew it! I found ONE.  Of the numerous ones that scurried off into the sunset, I located ONE.  I decided it would die.  So I crept up real close (and by close I mean about 5 ft...ya know the distance of the spray) but before I could spray it, it took flight...

So I sprayed blindly into the air...covering myself and my car in RAID! But I managed to get some on the creature which promptly dropped to the ground at my feet.

I sprayed it again for good measure.  *sniff, sniff* Excuse me I need to go hose poison off of myself...and get a glass of wine...and maybe a Xanax...I am soooooooooooo done!

I don't know where the rest went but I killed one so I feel victorious...until another one makes an appearance inside my house...then I will go cry in a corner. 

P.S.  I also doused that bush in RAID! so I mean it may die but its a necessary sacrifice in the name of ridding the world of bugs who shall not be named.