I have a banshee

Aside from a bug who shall not be named very few things can keep from entering my home.  With that said something that is screaming in my face will definitely postpone my entrance.

Let me set a scene.  It was 11:30 PM the night before I was set to go out of town.  I was doing some last minute cleaning up but had already gotten ready for bed, as in I was in my PJs...the super comnfy pants that happen to have a huge hole and a barely there tank.  I realized I had an old pizza box in the fridge so I wanted to bring it out and put the bin at the curb for pick up.

I walked out my front door and was immediately assaulted by something screaming bloody murder. Not like a tiny screech.  We are talking high pitched *SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*.  So I yelped and ran away from the door.

When I looked back there was a massive blue/green creature flitting around my front porch light...screaming.  *WTF*.  Is it a pixie?  Yo tink chill out!

When it landed I realized is was a cicada.  "huh, didn't know they screamed". If you want to hear it google it an image it in an enclosed front porch area in the dark.

Thinking it was just a little disoriented I tried to walked to the front door ...*screeeeeeeeeeee* as it dive bombed my face *eeeeeeeeeeee* as I ran into the street.

Hmmmm this may be a bit tricker than expected.

I threw a stick at the creature...nothing.

I threw a bigger stick...I missed *bark bark bark bark*

I crept up to the door...I almost got my hand on the handle *screeeeeeeeee* "son of a b**ch!!!"

So I paced back and forth waiting for this insane creature to chill the F**K out!

I thought about opening the garage but then I'd have a screaming pixie in my garage so I vetoed that idea.

Next step...throw the shoe.  First throw....missed by a MILE and that f**king thing chased me a good 20 ft *ahhhhhhhhhhhhh* *crying* *pants falling off* *almost falling with one shoe*

I hopped back, hoping it flew off...NOPE it is sitting right on the GD door!  Opening the door is not an option at this point.

My shoe was close enough to grab.  I hummed the shoe again.  It comes flying at me.  I dukes of hazzard slide across the trunk...

...hide on side the car, and make a run for the door.  I can hear it coming back.

I left the shoe, rolled through the front door and slammed it.

All I hear outside *screeeeeeeeee* *tap tap tap* *screeeeeeeee* *tap tap tap*.  OMG its trying to get in!!!

After 20 min of trying to get back in, I decided my shoe has served me well and is a good sacrifice.

My husband got home late.  He wanted to know why my shoe was outside.....

The best part...I realized the next day there is a play by play of the entire ordeal on my security camera....