But you ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dan....

Or arms in this case. 

No this isn't me making fun of an amputee, I'm not an @$$hole.  So I am driving to work and the car in front of me IN THE LEFT LANE can't decide if they want to do 50 mph or 80 mph.  They also can't decide if they want to brake early or brake once they are on top of the car in front of them.  They seemed to be doing okay staying their lane for the most part so I really couldn't figure out what was going on other than they were smoking and were really focusing on that.  I mean his/her hand was hanging out the window with said cancer stick.

There were quite a few cars on the road so passing them wasn't going well for me. I finally had a break to my right so I decided I was going around this idiot.  As I pulled up next to him I noticed he was on the phone...an old school flip phone...hi Gibbs!

Anyways, then I realized he was also still smoking the cigarette. 

How are you driving?!!?!?  He was in an older model Camry so I know it wasn't a self driving vehicle.  I didn't see a passenger so no one was holding the wheel for him. And I couldn't see a knee wedged up so no driving with his knee(s)...what is happening?!?


Conclusions:

1.)  This man has a unique deformity that has afforded him an extra arm.  Must come in handy...I'll see myself out....

2.) This man has a unique deformity which allows his pleasure stick to perform amazing feats.  Like gripping a steering wheel and...well steering it. 

3.) He is an alien and has talents we mere humans can only dream of.

maybe....

4.)  And most UNLIKELY!  He was doing the trust drive.  You drive a little with no hands (TRUSTING your alignment and wheels to keep going straight).  And correct as needed with a tap from a hand or a knee. 

It was very odd...and made me speed up because my luck he'd hit a pot hole and come flying at me...