I think I bruised my uterus

Is that even possible?  And no I am not talking about rough sex, get your mind out the gutter. 

So I am clumsy, that is evident...but I am also coordinated enough to dance pretty good, run without falling, and climb trees.  I think I am really two different people smashed into one body.  Wait...

Anyways, so yesterday was like any other day at the office.  We completed a huge project where we organized a ton of stuff for a large client.  No really, HUGE project...it took us over a week to complete.  Anyways, the stuff was in two decent sized boxes each weighing about 20-25 lbs which I was to deliver today.  So yesterday afternoon myself and another lady hauled the two boxes down the stairs and to my car.  We did it because the big burly men in our office were conveniently MIA. 

Moving on, I was wearing dress pants, a flowy shirt, and black pumps...my friend was wearing dress pants, a flowy shirt, and gray pumps (trust me this is important...mostly).  As we were headed to the stairs she stumbled into a wall but caught herself *whew*, so she took off her shoes (if there was EVER a f**king red flag waving this was it).  I did not remove my shoes and headed VERY CAREFULLY down the stairs.  I made it to the bottom without issue *woo hoo*.  What happened next can only be described  as...comical...painful but comical.  

- I opened the door by leaning on it and held it open for my friend
- She stepped out, I let the door close
- We both stepped forward towards the curb
- My right heel went in between two sections of concrete (I didn't realize this)
- My left foot was planted and I went to step with my right
- It didn't move...
- I pitched forward
- But there was no foot to put down

- My weight was on my left foot so I couldn't step forward to catch myself
- Add in an extra 20+ lbs...I didn't stand a chance "ha"
- The heel snapped
- I flew forward at an incredible speed
- The box hit the ground
- I hit the box full on with my torso
- The box EXPLODED under my weight and the momentum
- My hands eventually hit the concrete (ow)
- My face went INTO the box (Ow!)
- My legs went up and almost over my head (OW! guess I'm a little flexible)
- They slammed back down, driving both my knees into the concrete curb (have I mentioned OW!!!!)
- I rolled off the box onto my butt and started laughing hysterically wondering WTF just happened.

My friend was so shocked she couldn't talk.  It happened so fast!  Finally she said "Oh my god! Are you...are you okay?!?!" My response...

 

Truthfully I felt ZERO pain at that point (yay for adrenaline). 

**FLASH FORWARD 3 HOURS**

I am laying on my couch with a heating pad.  I took 2 Advil and am watching horror movies on Netflix.  My knees and wrists are mostly fine.  But now that the adrenaline is gone I can feel the strained muscle in my shoulder blade area, my jaw is tender (I think I clanked my teeth together), my abs feel like I went through 5 rounds with Ali, and I am 99% certain I have at least two slightly bruised ribs.

I can say without a doubt the box saved me.  Had I fallen without the box my wrists and knees would have bared the brunt of the fall, possibly resulting in broken bones and I may not have been able to stop my face from slamming into the concrete.  So I am fine...I lost my favorite pair of black pumps but I am still mostly intact. 

Side Note - I am supposed to run a half on Saturday...a Half...like 13.1 miles.  I got this...I think...ha....