Why ask for my advice if you aren't going to listen???

I don't even know why I answered the phone. . .well technically I didn't answer on purpose but that's besides the point. You know who called today. . .ya know my ex roommate person. Well I said hello and it was downhill from there.

He complained about his job, like he always does when I actually answer, and this time I just wasn't in the mood to be calm. I kinda lost it. He always talks about this Executive that he has issues with at his new job out of state. According to him this person does not know what they are talking about and they are out to get him. As I calmly listened at first then he said "you know you used to be better at this whole advice thing." That was the mythical straw that broke the camels back. I said everything I'd been holding back.

I basically told him that this Executive is his boss and he has to play nice and I know from previous experience he doesn't know how to do that. He said he's never been rude to their face, to which I replied "One of their 'minions' , as you so kindly call them, told them you are impossible to work with. . .I am certain that affected her opinion of you at least a little." He said they just don't like being challenged and think they are always right. I was like so kind of like you...?

Long story short he is ready to leave this job he's only been at for 6 months all because he hates this executive and because the person that hired him left and went to a new company. . .he says "I moved there because of this guy not because I liked this company". Wow, really. . .WTF?! But the kicker is he doesn't want to jump to a new job because of the house. OK, I'm sorry what? How does owning 1/2 a house in another state affect you getting another job???

This is what he envisions. Walking into this Executive's office and saying paying me X amount of money or I am out. . .AFTER they already made it clear he's overpaid. I suggested NOT doing that but I am stupid and don't 'understand'. So he figures he'll be asked to leave, he doesn't plan on having another job in the wings so he plans on moving back here. He wil not have a job and he will fix the house in 4-6 weeks. . .the same house he had over 2 years to fix. Anyone see where my annoyance is coming from???

I of course argued BAD idea not just because I don't want him here but also because that is just DUMB. But he sees no issue with it. . .like its the most normal thing a person could say. His reason is, it will get done because he wants to get the house sold; get me taken care of; so he can buy a house where he is now....because (here is the kicker) he misses his dog!!! OK so you want to throw away your job, in this economy, because you want to fix a house you didn't bother fixing before because you want to buy a new house...WITHOUT a job so you can bring your dog with you. Makes sense right...?

Well I don't need a taking care of...I am just fine. The house I will HAPPILY fix but I still do not have the $$$ form the insurance company although he tells me "I'll make sure you get some of your money back..." What the hell does that mean?!?!!? To me that means, " I spent the money and don't want to send you a check for $$$$."

Ok thats my rant for the day. . .I am so annoyed!

I was being stung from the inside out. . .

Ok so it was just a dream . . . but how weird is this. . .

It was a very short but detailed dream. It was a gorgeous, sunny, spring day. I was sitting on a couch/lounger outside with my friends laughing and being silly as usual. During one of the outbursts of laughter I swallowed a WASP. Like you know how if your walking and talking and you swallow a nat. . .something like that but it was a WASP! I said "Oh my God I think I just swallowed a Wasp." As I cough and gagged trying to get it out. Friend twin 1 said "Oh you'll be fine. You'll digest it, no biggie...mmmm a little extra protein. Hahaha". I said "I dunno, I think I can feel it moving around..." I mean I could feel it in the dream like CRAWLING around in my stomach and it was the absolute weirdest feeling ever. I think a day went by and I swore I could still feel it and everyone was like you are CRAZY!

Then it happened. The most horrifying, painful thing happened. I bent over to pick something up and I was stabbed. . .from the inside out. I could see the stinger poking out of my abdomen and then suddenly it retracted. Then came out again in another area a little to the left. Same thing about 3 or 4 times. I was flipping out!!! My friends and boyfriend were like you are fine, no need to stress about it. I said "I am being stung by wasp that is inside of me!!!!!!" I said I think I need to go to the Dr. They all disregarded me and the conversation was done. Well this continued for the next day or so. Random stabbings whenever I would move weird and piss it off. But they were getting lower in my abdomen so I thought it was moving through my digestive system. I was like "It's not dying and I don't want to know whats going to happen when it gets to the, um end..."

Finally I convinced my boyfriend (younger guy) to bring me to the ER to have it removed. He said he would bring me but I'd have to wait till he got off of work. Well I was in my house waiting patiently trying not to move so I wouldn't get stabbed, when I had a "stomach attack" which is caused by my digestive issues. As I was attempting to NOT succumb to that call of nature I had a shooting pain in my back/side area. Then an uncomfortable feeling in my pants. No, I did not crap myself :P but when I pulled down my sweat pants I had a very much alive, BIGGER than average Wasp perched on my butt WALKING around. It was at least 1.5 inches long and about an inch thick. I vividly remember the feel of the insect legs on my skin *shudder*. Then out of NO WHERE my dumb dumb rottweiler snatches it off of me and runs off with his new 'toy'. I pulled up my pants and ran after him. He somehow got out the back door. He was trying to hide his face from me so I couldn't take it away. Meanwhile I am yelling, "Let it go dog. . . please. . . it's going to sting you!!!!" Then I woke up. Now what in the world do you make of that one...?

I"m not usually a violent person. . .

. . . but I could totally punch someone in the face right now!

Take a WILD guess who that would be. Me EX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aside from the normal crapola that gets my panties in a wad :P he has yet again proven to me that he is an idiot!

OK flash back to almost 5 years ago (in March). We bought the house right...? Anyways all was fine and dandy. Then we had a new year come around and things went a little batty. The heater started acting a little funny. By funny I mean it would not kick off even when in Auto mode. Well the heat would go off but the fan stayed blowing. This happened a few times but not alot. Then the next winter it decided to RANDOMLY shift itself from normal heat to Em Heat. At that time I had no clue what that meant... at that point my Ex called out a repair guy to look at it. He said the guy said the thermostat was going out and that Em Heat was a safety mode it went into. And that it would cost alot of money to fix...an easy way to keep it from running all day was to TRIP THE CIRCUIT BREAKER. This went against my better judgment and I questioned it...but being the trusting moron that I am I believed him and we went about our business. Also every year we were getting it serviced and had the ducts cleaned out recently so I surely thought that a repair guy would say something if something was wrong.

OK flash forward to yesterday. I wake up and turn the heater on. . .nada just a clicking noise. I was running late so I turned it off and went to work. Last night I got home and was FREEZING so I tried again. Again just this weird clicking noise. I let it sit for a sec thinking it would kick on. Then this WEIRD smell filled the house and I panicked and turned it off again. I opened the closet where the indoor unit is and there was a low squealing noise... effing fantastic. So I called out a repair guy, who thankfully could make it over first thing in the morning. YAY!

This is the part where my blood pressure skyrocketed. They started looking at it and determined the blower motor was burnt out and maybe other things but the motor was why nothing clicked on. After further inspection he very sternly told me that I should really have my unit serviced every year. *with a baffled expression* huh. He said this unit looks like it hasn't been serviced in quite a few years. He showed my the screens and the blower fan. They were COVERED in a 2+ inch layer if dust and fur. It was disgusting. He said having just one dog generates lots of dander and fur so that's why it looks like this. He said this happens over time (the filters catch most of it) but it will build up and cause the system to overheat bypassing the compressor and causing the fan to keep running and the Em Heat to come on. He also took me to the inside and outside units and explained EVERYTHING they did. Told me what Em Heat actually was and why I didn't want to use it.

So it was just the motor. Once he got it all put back together that sucka was blowing really really really hard, I was impressed. Then my blood pressure went up again.... as the stronger force of air went through the vents it blew all kinds of clumps of dust out of every vent in the house. It was disgusting. So after I paid the nice repair man I called my Ex to let him know he owed me half :P. I told him everything and he said "so I guess you figured out the unit was never serviced." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I didn't have the patience to even fight, I told him what he owed me and to send a check and hung up.

Are you kidding me.... for almost 5 years the effing thing has NEVER been looked at. No repair man EVER came out to look at it...he just figured out how to get it to shut off. The ducts were never cleaned. If it would have been serviced every year...that's about $100 or so depending on how long it takes not that bad ... this cost over $450!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its not highway robbery BUT the guy also cut me a deal. He didn't charge me for labor just for the part. Had labor been included that would have been another $200....$650 total. Why why why why why lie about that!?!?! I am so pissed not just because it cost me $$$ to fix but because my instincts told me that wasn't right. Had I just taken charge it would all have been done regularly.....

To Speak or not to speak....

..that is the question rolling through my head right now....

Happy New Year!

Okay so why am I not speaking ;) Hmmm lets see. As you know I am in a pretty serious with younger guy. Both our families are planning our wedding and have been for a few months now ;) No pressure right...? Anyways the subject definitely has come up and it doesn't scare me in the least or him from what I can tell. He is always saying things about when we get married and when we have kids and in the future etc etc etc. So he seems to see what me and everyone else does which is good. His mom thought for sure he was giving me a ring for Christmas which I knew was not happening but she was sad that it didn't, good lord. I mean we both seem to want it but are taking it slow for obvious reasons (we both got burned pretty bad :P).

Anyways the other day he said something that made me kinda sad. We were hanging out at his best friends house waiting for dinner. His friend is a computer guru and just got a new touch screen for his kitchen so he can look up stuff while he's cooking...I was jealous ;). Anyways of course my guy was playing with the new computer...it was a touch screen so I get it , haha. Well I was in the bathroom and his friends wife was feeding their little girl (she's 1.5 years....soooo CUTE!). Well when I came out the wife was like "Um do you know what he was looking at over there?" I was like Huh...? Who.. what...? And my guy was like *in an shy-ish voice* "I just wanted her to see that you can get nice stuff for less money if you are smart..." He was looking at rings....which caught me off guard but then he said something that kinda stung... He said "Geez *friends wife* I am being smart this time, it will be at least two years before I think about proposing." She looked at me and asked how long we were together...I said almost 10 months. She said "Really...? That's it?! I swore you'd been around much longer... I guess yáll just seem so comfortable with each other... *averting her attention to my guy* still 2 years.... REALLY?! You are weird." His friend looked confused as well.

Honestly I understand....I am in NO WAY expecting or wanting a ring right now. It just stung to know that even though our relationship is TOTALLY different that his ex fiance and him he thinks the reason they didn't work is because they got engaged after a year of dating. He has made that comment before, I am not assuming anything. But its like he thinks if we move quick like that we will follow that same path. My ex an I were together for 3 years when he said "hey lets get married" and we split 7 months later ... that does not mean I think the same will happen to us. But I never said a thing, I just rolled over it and started talking to Friends Wife again while she eyed my guy from a distance burning a hole in the back of his head, haha. I think she might like me ;). I guess that sting I felt was the same sting I felt before. The doing things because you think your supposed to do it that way instead of because you want to. Does that make any sense?! I guess I just hate being punished because some other chick effed up...its almost as bad as not getting what I want/need because no one else ever taught the person that you should/shouldn't do/say that (I'm talking about me being the 'learning curve' for my ex...it SUCKED).

So I don't know what to do. I want to be like relax dude and just go with the flow. Don't put time lines they just make things complicated. But I don't want him to think I am pressuring for the next step because I really think that if he gave me The Ring tomorrow I would pass out on the floor in fear. Okay maybe not that bad but it would be TOTALLY unexpected and a little too fast for me, there would be definite hyperventilation. I know bad bad bad but I guess I am a little guarded still too.

Sooooooooo I don't think I will do/say anything...unless it comes up again...then I may try to carefully get my point across...easier said than done... maybe silence is better :P

A hopeless romantic...

...am I that desperate for the Fairytale love story?! Not likely, HA!

Ok so I just jumped on the Twilight bandwagon and I am totally hooked. I recently started reading the 1st book Twilight (I've seen both the movies). And Oh my, every time I read I find myself smiling and totally enthralled in this book. I read ALOT, okay. I mean I finish books fairly quickly unless I have a lot going on, AKA holidays, etc. And I have never been this into a book. I have many favorites where I get wrapped up in the stories but this is waaaaaaay different. I find myself relating to Bella more than any other Character, WEIRD I know (stop laughing). It just baffles me. We all know my weird fetish for Vampires...I don't know what it is about them but I have always been fascinated by the concept and to see it in a new perspective is very refreshing. After I finish this series (which should be soon, HA) I am told I MUST read the Southern Vampire Mysteries series that was the inspiration for True Blood (I think). But I am not sure I will ever get into a story line as much as I have wrapped myself in this one. I literally have to force myself to stop reading, hahaha.

So all that being said I started to wonder why this story and not any other of the 100's that I have read. I honestly have NO IDEA. But I do know that I want a love like that. One where it hurts to not be with the person and pains you to think of anything bad happening to them or having them go away in one way or another. Where their mere touch sends chills down your spine and makes you fell all warm and fuzzy, etc etc etc. I feel like I have that now (stop laughing ;)). No really the emotional connection that I have with younger guy is something I have not had before. I have definitely been in love before on some level but I have never had the connection that I have now. And let me tell you it scares the hell outta me. I feel happy...VERY happy but so vulnerable to know that one person can affect me so much. Now if we had JUST started dating I would totally say its the 'new' relationship vibe that has me in a frenzy but we've been together 9 months (I know time flies right?!) and the same feeling is still there...not even really dulled just more comfortable, I guess. And eveidenlty him and I aren't the only ones that notice it. Since about September both of our families have been asking when we will start "making plans". We met the rest of our extended families over the holidays and even they were like "soooo when are we getting married?" Every time I turned 10 shades of red and felt like saying quit pushing people, but at the same time it made me so happy that they wanted us to be at that point...ya know. His family loves me and mine loves him, so whats the problem ;) HA. I am such a pessimist sometimes...I keep waiting for the bottom to fall out and all of this to just disappear in a flash...like its almost too good to be true. Even my friends are like sooooooo what's going on with big smiles...like I don't know what they are thinking ;) HA. Which don't get me wrong we have talked about the 'M' word ;). He totally sees me as his wife which again freaks me out because no one has ever told me that before...not even my Ex (5 YEARS!)...he said he wanted to marry me but he never said he could see me as his wife...which I guess you could say they are the same thing but hearing that from younger guy it just seemed different.

So if I am so happy in my relationship then why do I want an Edward Cullen?! Hahahahaha, because he doesn't exist. I don't care what anyone says...a man is a man and this character is way too in touch with his feelings to be anything more than a figment of the imagination. Every man has some elements of Edwards personality but I don't believe there is any man out there that can be quite as "awesome" as him and in touch with his 'feelings' without being a complete cheeseball or gay, HA! I haven't gotten far enough into the series to make any comments about Jacob but I have a feeling I will stay with the Vampire side because...well that's what I like ;) hahaha. I am weird, its a wonder how I ever attracted a decent guy!!!

Tonight we gonna pawty like it's 1999!

Is this really happening? No Way!

OK so why am I so giddy you may ask. Well because a few entries back I was annoyed with my living situation. Well good news people, come September 14th I WILL BE RID OF HIM! That's right my 'roommate' is moving...and not just to another house/apt/city....he's moving OUT OF STATE! *Doing the happy dance*.

What sparked this??? You See in July Younger Guy came pick me up from the house and all hell broke loose. My roomie FREAKED out and thought I was so inconsiderate for having someone pick me up. He didn't even come in or knocked...just pulled up, called me and I went out. About a week later roomie comes home and says "that company in TX wants me to come for an interview." I was like, cool. So he interviews, takes the job and says ok they want me to start in September. Okee Dokee!

Well being the douche that he is, that meant I needed to drop EVERYTHING I had planned for the next month and a half and help him make the repairs on the house that should have been done over a year ago!!!!!! As you may imagine that did not sit well with me and I flipped out a bit and he retracted his request. I mean come on....August is my boyfriends, 3 of my best friends and my brother's b-days AND my High School reunion...sorry buddy I'm kinda booked...but I'll help when I can.

Well then he says (at the beginning of August) "Don't pay me for your half of the bills this month...use that for Landscaping". Um really...during the HEIGHT of hurricane season, you want me to spend mucho moola and landscape....so I bought the supplies but I am not landscaping until I know a storm isn't going to form and destroy my work (and money :P).

Well now that it's getting closer he is getting more and more remorseful. He seems excited about this new opportunity but he keeps making random statements. Things like, "It's going to be weird...I mean I have lived with you for the past 6 years". Which yes, I agree it will be a little strange BUT I lived with my 2 best friends for 4.5 years and then moved out by myself when we graduated and although it was strange I was A-OK. Granted this is a little differnt but we have been broken up and living seperate lives for 1.5 years now so I think the transition...at least for me will be smooth. He's said other things but none as memorable as that one :P. So THANK GOD I will be out of town the weekend he moves out because I don't want to be a part of that Drama/pent up emotion when reality hits him and he realizes he had a knee jerk reaction to my boyfriend being "real" and is now on his way to TX where he has no friends or family. Just the 'friend' he made at a training session who will now be his boss. I ain't worried about him, seems like a legit company and he's getting paid more (which evidently is all that matters to him) so he wont be back. I just hope I get the $$$ so I can finish the house and move on with my life!

I had the weirdest dream!!!

Ever have a dream so vivid and wonder if it was real???

Ok so last night my dream woke me up around 3 AM and I couldn't fall back asleep. It started at my current house. I had all my friends and boyfriend over for an LSU game. At some point I decided to go use my bathroom which is in my room (master bedroom). As I walked in the door to my room, I got chills down my spine, felt like the temperature dropped 20 degrees, and had that fear in the pit of my stomach. Before I could look around the door to my room started to close. I was paralyzed with fear. I saw a figure standing behind the door, mind you there were no lights on in my room but I could still see. It started to walked towards me and I collapsed on the ground. Then it said don't be scared in a very familiar soothing voice. When it came into view I could see clearly who it was.

It was my Paran (my godfather) who passed away almost 9 years ago (December 1st, 2000). I couldn't speak. He said again don't be scared and touched my hand but still I couldn't move. I was no longer frightened but confused. Then he kissed me on the forehead and I relaxed a little. He said he had been watching over me. He said he was in a bad place for a long time. He said he paid for all the things he had done wrong in life. But that he was in a good place now and happy with the family and watching me. At this point we had somehow made our way into my bathroom and had the light on and I could see that he looked just I remembered. Then my friends came to the door looking for me and my Paran said if I turned on and off the lights fast a few times, they wouldn't be able to see him. So I did and they came in and couldn't see him. Then I told them what happened and did the light thing so they could see him. But only nice Twin Friend and me could see him, no one else. She wasn't scared either but was confused like I was...

It gets a bit fuzzy at this point but I woke up feeling happy not scared. Ok who wants to analyze this one???