I'm an adult... An adult who is coordinated...85% of the time. But that 15% of the time I am not coordinated...I end up in a world of pain.
So I was doing that running thing, right? I do that a lot. Or at least enough that I know running in Louisiana can be hazardous. But most races do this thing where they mark the $hit out of the roads to show where there are potholes or raised pieces of pavement. Not all do it but you understand the risks because they say it like 20 times before you start.
Recently I was doing a longer race, not a half but not a 5K. 2 miles in and I ate asphalt. You don't understand, it wasn't like a simple trip. This was....
A toe catching on a piece of raised asphalt
Spaztically falling forward while swinging arms trying to balance
Thinking you are okay as you seem to catch yourself
Crying internally when you feel your foot turn sideways and you pitch forward, completely off balance
What made it worse...I was RUNNING. I wasn't walking or slowly jogging. We were full out running because...I don't know why. So when my toe caught there was quite a bit of momentum to balance out.
As I went crashing down I put my hands out. The problem is the force at which I was falling was too great for my arms to keep my face from slamming into the ground. So in that split second of realization I turned on my shoulder. I slid 3 feet on my f**king shoulder!
Before I registered what happened I had hands all over me picking me. Seriously, runners are the BEST. So many people stopped to pick me up. Literally zero effort went into me standing because I was lifted off the ground. After I said "I'm okay, I'm okay" and smiled they took off and we moved over to the side to limp it out. As I was assessing myself and not really feeling any immediate serious pain I looked at my friend who kept asking if I was okay and I said "no really, I'm fine". Then I looked down at my hand. I have blood dripping from my fingers. Not just a minor scrap, it was pouring out of a spot where my thumb meets the palm. "Ummm crap, okay maybe not okay." She ran ahead to get help while I wandered slowly still trying to see why nothing hurt that bad. That's about when I realized my knee had a pulse...hmmm that's odd. I looked down but I had long black pants on so I didn't see anything. We get some basic supplies to clean me up.
That poor cop. As I am walking up to them I hear "my friend fell, do you have a first aid kit...or at least a bandaid?" He looks in my direction but doesn't really see me and says "yes, sure, where is she?" And I looked right at him and opened my hand still gushing blood. He turned white. Which was impressive because he was pretty tan. He ran to his car and handed us some supplies and bolted. He made sure I was okay but wouldn't look directly at my injuries...I guess blood weirded him out.
Anyways, I clean up as best I can with wipes and a bandaid. Once I hand my hand wrapped in a wipe to staunch the blood flow I bent over and pulled up my pant leg. My knee started oozing blood....crap crap crap! I guess the tight pants were keeping the blood from flowing. So I quickly pulled them back down and hoped for the best. My shoulder while sore was the best looking part of me. It was scrapped but not horrifically...how the F**K?!?! I slid 3 feet on asphalt...on my shoulder...I'm confused.
Anyways, we kept going because I really was feeling okay and figured there would be medical at one of the water stations, boy was I f**king wrong about that. No medics till the end...doh! Whatever I finished the race with a punctured hand, bruised & bloody knee, and road rash shoulder. I felt like I looked like an extra from the walking dead. Those finisher pics should be AMAZING!
The medic at the end was all what happened...well sir I tried to fight the road and the road won. He SCRUBBED my knee to get pieces of asphalt out (mother f**ker!!!!) and he dug around in my hand to make sure there weren't any rocks stuck in it (son of a b**ch!!!!). Oh I know I said I had pants on but there were all these tiny holes in them I didn't notice in my original assessment meaning pieces of the ground went through and INTO MY KNEE! He put some special ointment on my knee and a HUGE bandage. He said to not get it wet and keep it on for a few hours....great!
An hour later I was in my shower finding every other scrape on my body and cringing in pain. I also had my leg propped up to keep my knee from getting wet...I was a mess. After a few hours everything stiffened up. Breathing hurt....I barely slept that night because my entire body ached and no position was comfy....
Its been about a week. My hand is mostly healed and my shoulder looks like nothing happened. My knee looks like it went a few rounds with a meat grinder and is a lovely shade of purple/green/yellow. Its still sore but I'll live.
Moral of the story: Watch where you are going, Louisiana streets jump up and bite ya if you aren't careful.
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