Do you wanna know how I got these scars?

So obvi I love animals.  That much is VERY clear.  But sometimes I still want to punt @$$hole animals into traffic.  I would never do that but geeze do they push my buttons!

So not my cat loves to run off anything alive that tries to invade "her" territory. 

She's always there lurking out of sight and comes running when she thinks she is needed.  The ONE TIME she wasn't lurking nearby....I actually needed her!!!

I was in my front yard...minding my own business when some cat with a $hit attitude decided to pick a fight.  I am not scared of cats so my initial reaction wasn't fear but within a split second I realized "this mother f**ker about to attack me".

He/she hesitated but not enough.  They got near my face but I was already swinging my arm to block so I slapped the $hit out of it and it ran off.  In my shock I wasn't really sure what the f**k happened.  

I felt my nose running so I wiped it and saw blood.  Immediately my brain caught up and the pain shot through my nerves.  I ran inside only to see my face GUSHING blood.  

I tried to rinse it off but the blood kept coming.  I basically tried to drown myself in peroxide because at this point every scenario of stray cat issues was streaming through my mind. 

I called a nurse friend as I tried to staunch the flow.  She gave me some advice...because I live in the US and no matter what your political views are you have to admit our healthcare system is F**CKED UP!  So rather than spend $1,000+ at the ER/Urgent Care, I got basically the same care/advice from her, as long as the bleeding stopped and it didn't swell/get red. 

After scrubbing my wounds, stopping the bleeding, and putting treatment on them I got back to work 

Thankfully with my nurse's advice and constant attention, no infection and minimal scarring.   

I've not seen psycho kitty since but not my cat has been around.  And I tell her everytime I see her, where were you when I needed you!?!?!  I was attacked!!!!  And she purrs and demands scritches.  Dammit cat, if you are going to hang around at least be useful!