I'm starting to think you like getting bathed in oil

So my adventures in gardening include bugs trying to destroy all my hard work.  I don't like hard core pesticides so I try natural oils and stuff but these M**her F**kers will not die!  They are white flies and are pissing me OFF!

Everytime I cut some rosemary for cooking or water my plants, I am swarmed by a cloud of tiny white flies.  

I started using neem oil and its helping but the infestation is bad.  So I read where people buy these sticky fly trap things you can stick in the ground around the infested plants.  

People who use them said if any beneficial pollinators get stuck, use a little veggie oil to gently unstick them.  Cool cool, I'm at my wits end!

So to start I put 4 around the worst plants.  They are like the size of the palm of my hand.  I went inside for a bit to cool off and clean a little. When I came back out I had caught something...a F**KING LIZARD!

Bruh, WTAF!  Well I hope the oil works.  So I put a little oil on the sticky pad and carefully peeled Mr Lizard off.  He was surprisingly still and when he was free he hopped on my thumb and stared at me.  

When I put him close to a plant...he ran up my arm and perched on my shoulder. 

He hung out on my shoulder while I repositioned the sticky pad and pulled some weeds.  He jumped off when I went to stand and I told my very shiny friend to stay off the stickies!

I'm the f**king Disney Princess of reptiles. 

Later in the evening we watered the lawn and gardens then went to store to get something for dinner.  When we came back ALL FOUR sticky pads had a reptile on them.

Seriously guys! So I got my oil and went to work de-sticking my reptilian friends.  I had 2 lizards, a gecko, and a skink.  The lizards & Gecko were very chill.  The skink slithers like a snake with legs and kept getting himself restuck!

Around midnight I let the pups out and another f**kng lizard was stuck.  

The next day nothing, whew.  But that night a f**king skink. 

I'm really starting to think you all like being oiled!

The following day one of the sticky pads was missing...so I don't know if a rat, cat, opossum, or what got stuck but maybe that will keep them from coming back. 

It's been about a week and no more lizards, geckos or skinks but a TON of white flies.