Paranoia is a mental illness...right?

Well its usually a symptom of a worse mental illness but.... 

I understand psychology.  I understand mental illness.  I understand things aren't easy.  I am very understanding and patient.  But its hard for me to wrap my brain around EXTREME paranoia. 

At some point in our lives we all get a little paranoid.  In a person without illness its usually warranted.  Meaning something happened that made you, a logical person, think "Hmmmm, that's odd". 

WE HAVE ALL HAD THIS. And many times our suspicions are correct.  not always, sometimes we just look cookoo but whatever. 

What drives me a bit nuts is unwarranted extreme constant paranoia.  I try.  I really do.  But the triggers are so sensitive I don't know what to do.

Example, after two calls and three texts unanswered, concern turns into angry paranoia.  "I know they aren't answering me because they are mad because of _____". 

Something ridiculous that makes no sense but to them its the obvious reason they aren't responding.

I try to be the anchor.  I try to "talk them down" with logic.  Not being an @$$hole just offering an alternative explanation.  I am ALWAYS told I am wrong and I just don't understand.  And 99% of the time, I am right.

This is a minor example.  Things have gotten REALLY hairy in recent years, so I did some research.

"Symptoms of paranoia and delusional disorders include intense and irrational mistrust or suspicion, which can bring on sense of fear, anger, and betrayal. Some identifiable beliefs and behaviors of individuals with symptoms of paranoia include mistrust, hypervigilence, difficulty with forgiveness, defensive attitude in response to imagined criticism, preoccupation with hidden motives, fear of being deceived or taken advantage of, inability to relax, or are argumentative."

"It can be difficult to treat a person with paranoia since symptoms result in increased irritability, emotionally guardedness, and possible hostility. "

I can see that but I really really really think something is wrong but I don't know what to do.  Its gotten worse with age.  I'm not trying to make light of this...I'm really just at a loss. 

I mean they hold grudges (like 30+ year grudges).  Everyone is ALWAYS out to get them.  Nothing wrong in their life is their fault, its always someone else's fault.  Anyone that disagrees is "working against them" in order to "prove they are incapable of *pick something*"

I'll figure something out... I am just so tired....