This may get really deep and personal so feel free not to read on...
Okay here goes. You know how when you are younger you pray that you aren't preggars. Even if you are not sexually active at that moment, if you are late you have this panicked moment where you are like "I cannot have a baby right now!". I know you think like this too, don't lie...and if you are male and your g/f told you she was late you probably had a similar reaction. Anyways, how many days/nights do we spend as young twenty-somethings (sometimes teens) praying, begging the higher powers to send you your monthly visitor. Then when you see that lovely speck of red you do the freaking happy dance all around your room. It sounds dumb but most of us are totaly guilty of this.
Why does being an adult suck? Well because as an adult, married and "ready" for a kid(s) that little speck of red crushes a piece of your soul. You think back to how many times you begged not to be prego and wonder if the universe is playing an ugly game with you. Its like well you said before you didn't want it, why do you want it now. Cause I do dammit, that's why! Anyways I am not that far into this new way of thinking but I saw a friend go through it a couple times. You know where she swore she was and then BAM mother nature said "just kidding". I mean one time she was like two weeks late and although she was making jokes, I know she was crushed inside. I hate that for her and for me and for anyone for that matter. I mean now she has a beautiful baby and I just hope I am that lucky.
Like I said before I am not that far into this "lets have kids" mantra (just a few months) but I know every time, I mean every time I get my period a little piece of me will want to just scream! We are serious about this now, like taking temps and tracking stuff and you get the picture. But I am trying not to be all stressed because I know that is bad too. Like the last couple months was this and I just and panicked wondering if we waited too long. I know I am not that old (not in twenties but not near forty yet) but these are the stupid things that go through my head at night...and now during the day. It kinda sucks! Plus I know how much trouble my mom had and of course that concerns me...I just hope I take after one of my g-ma's...they both had more than 4 kids with minimal issues, of course they started much younger back then. *sigh* being an adult sucks! I hate that wanting to have a career and find my perfect match makes us wait longer to have the babies and well we all know waiting too long can be a problem.
This on top of almost everyone I know watching everything I drink! Seriously the holidays were hilarious! I didn't want wine but I got a glass because I KNEW the second I didn't have any alcohol, everyone would jump to conclusions. Even with the glass I was getting stares. Then my dear cousin made an announcement (which I am BEYOND excited for them) and everyone was like yay! Then secretly they were like I totally thought it was going to be you...gee no pressure, y'all! So I am totally "drinking" for NYE and NYD! NYE I am buying a ginormous VIRGIN daiquiri so I don't have to pretend I am drinking...I can drink and no one will know, muahahahaha. I am not preggo by the way, but I am trying to reduce alcohol consumption, I hear that helps *wink*.
So on top of my own freaking out internally, all of my family...including all the in-laws are like we need a baby, stat. And while I laugh and smile, a part of me is like "stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!" Even my dad...he handed me one of my nephews and was making him "talk to me" saying, "I'd really like a little cousin, please". OMG, really?! alright, already, geez, hahaha...ha. But I am not mad at them, don't get me wrong...I actually think its kinda cute that they all want a little me. I just hate being monitored constantly.
Okay no more negative thoughts. *whooosa whooosa* butterflies, rainbows, no pressure! Hahaha, back to my happy thoughts.
Nola Gurl out :)
Monday, December 30, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
So I took a Quiz...
... you know, one of those "which character are you" quizzes
If you read my last post about my jacked up dreams you will appreciate this.
I got *drum roll*:
When the result showed I legit laughed out loud!
If you read my last post about my jacked up dreams you will appreciate this.
I got *drum roll*:
Monday, December 16, 2013
My dreams are WEIRD!
I should really stop reading right before bed...seriously sometimes I have the most jacked up dreams because I read so much. But this time its different. I read before bed but I was reading Ever Shade (Dark Fairytale)...but my dream was about... Game of Thrones, WTH!?
Okay don't crucify me I know that's only the name of the first book but its the best way for me to reference it. I'm not finished all the books released so far, I'm about 1/3 way through "A Storm of Swords". I am waiting on it from the Library again. It expired on me and now I am on a waiting list, boo.
Onward to the dream of weirdness. So I was Arya...weird because I am MUCH older than that character in the books but she/I was older, like 18 (still WAY younger than I actually am). We discovered that the world of Starks and Lannisters was just another realm adjacent to the world we readers currently live in. We were at war with the other houses and Robb was leading us to safety in the other realm. I was with Jon, who happened to look like the actor from the HBO series, which is weird because I haven't watched the series but I have seen pictures and stills. I on the other hand looked nothing like Arya...I looked like me, long blonde hair, tan-ish and petite but in my head I was her. Our whole army of allies was making its way to the "portal" but what we didn't know at first was the other army was headed our way to battle us in the new Realm through another portal they discovered. We somehow found this out and while trying to prepare for this possible encounter the mother of dragons came up from behind with her army and her dragons, forcing us to rush through the portal. It was chaotic and bloody to say the least.
I was sword fighting back to back with my favorite big brother who was probably twice my size but I managed to keep up. At one point we stumbled through the portal, which functioned strangely similar to the bifrost bridge, into a world of amazement. We were in modern day New York. To my astonishment, I recognized this place. Jon thought I was crazy. He was in awe of the skyscrapers and the temperature, winter definitely wasn't coming here (stop laughing at me). I was trying to figure out why I seemed to know this place. I knew where to go and where the "strange" roads lead. Of course the people of New York were wigging out because a giant army of what looked like an ancient civilization just appeared in Central Park. Thankfully the other army and the dragons couldn't follow us for some reason so we were relatively safe for now.
There is a big chunk that is a blur but I know there was an enormous amount of fighting when we finally met up with the Lannisters and somehow mama and her dragons showed up. I was hurt, Robb died and our army was weary.
Then it switched gears a bit, it was still GoT but it turns out I wasn't Arya, I was a faery half breed that was sent into the other realm for my safety because people in our realm were trying to steal me and I wouldn't be safe in faery. So that explained why I looked nothing like my siblings and the real Arya was safe and being held by the Seelie court. Being fae also allowed me to communicate with the dragons which saved everyone from the fate of being BBQ'd. Everyone stopped fighting for whatever reason and when my memory block was removed I fell in love with Jon and woke up. I know that ending was rushed but there is much I cannot remember.
This is by far one of the most messed up and detailed dreams I have had recently. Its like a mix of Game of Thrones, some sort of Faery tale gone wrong and possibly some Thor/Avengers mixed in just for fun. I woke up laughing at myself because of the extreme level of weirdness. I mean I was a fae, living in a world of winter and war with a memory block that when removed caused me to fall in love with a guy who I thought was my brother while fighting a war that somehow contained dragons in New York...wow! I've had dreams based on books I was reading before but this one takes the cake.
Okay don't crucify me I know that's only the name of the first book but its the best way for me to reference it. I'm not finished all the books released so far, I'm about 1/3 way through "A Storm of Swords". I am waiting on it from the Library again. It expired on me and now I am on a waiting list, boo.
Onward to the dream of weirdness. So I was Arya...weird because I am MUCH older than that character in the books but she/I was older, like 18 (still WAY younger than I actually am). We discovered that the world of Starks and Lannisters was just another realm adjacent to the world we readers currently live in. We were at war with the other houses and Robb was leading us to safety in the other realm. I was with Jon, who happened to look like the actor from the HBO series, which is weird because I haven't watched the series but I have seen pictures and stills. I on the other hand looked nothing like Arya...I looked like me, long blonde hair, tan-ish and petite but in my head I was her. Our whole army of allies was making its way to the "portal" but what we didn't know at first was the other army was headed our way to battle us in the new Realm through another portal they discovered. We somehow found this out and while trying to prepare for this possible encounter the mother of dragons came up from behind with her army and her dragons, forcing us to rush through the portal. It was chaotic and bloody to say the least.
I was sword fighting back to back with my favorite big brother who was probably twice my size but I managed to keep up. At one point we stumbled through the portal, which functioned strangely similar to the bifrost bridge, into a world of amazement. We were in modern day New York. To my astonishment, I recognized this place. Jon thought I was crazy. He was in awe of the skyscrapers and the temperature, winter definitely wasn't coming here (stop laughing at me). I was trying to figure out why I seemed to know this place. I knew where to go and where the "strange" roads lead. Of course the people of New York were wigging out because a giant army of what looked like an ancient civilization just appeared in Central Park. Thankfully the other army and the dragons couldn't follow us for some reason so we were relatively safe for now.
There is a big chunk that is a blur but I know there was an enormous amount of fighting when we finally met up with the Lannisters and somehow mama and her dragons showed up. I was hurt, Robb died and our army was weary.
Then it switched gears a bit, it was still GoT but it turns out I wasn't Arya, I was a faery half breed that was sent into the other realm for my safety because people in our realm were trying to steal me and I wouldn't be safe in faery. So that explained why I looked nothing like my siblings and the real Arya was safe and being held by the Seelie court. Being fae also allowed me to communicate with the dragons which saved everyone from the fate of being BBQ'd. Everyone stopped fighting for whatever reason and when my memory block was removed I fell in love with Jon and woke up. I know that ending was rushed but there is much I cannot remember.
This is by far one of the most messed up and detailed dreams I have had recently. Its like a mix of Game of Thrones, some sort of Faery tale gone wrong and possibly some Thor/Avengers mixed in just for fun. I woke up laughing at myself because of the extreme level of weirdness. I mean I was a fae, living in a world of winter and war with a memory block that when removed caused me to fall in love with a guy who I thought was my brother while fighting a war that somehow contained dragons in New York...wow! I've had dreams based on books I was reading before but this one takes the cake.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)