So I thought this was something that only happened in movies because I've never known someone who actually had a Crisis...I've known those that have second thoughts but not total breakdown.
Today I had the most horrible day...not because of what a guy did to me but because of what he did to one of my very close friends. You see the couple I am referring to has been married for MANY years, they have two beautiful/smart kids and are pretty much a perfect fit. Until recently!!!
She broke down to me. Over the past few months she has noticed her hub slowly pulling himself away from her. They haven't been intimate, barely talk, he goes out a lot and comes home with alcohol on his breath. She said she tried talking to him but he said he's fine. Wel she got a HUGE cell phone bill. When she checked it she realized one number that was on there ALOT. And she knew it right away...its one of their good friends.
She confronted him about it when he finally strolled in and immediately he said, want me to leave. No " there's nothing going on" or "its not what you think". His first response was, want me to leave. That right there admits guilt...RIGHT!?! Well they talked a little but their kids were there. One thing he managed to get out was " I'm just not happy and I haven't been for about a year now". My heart dropped when she told me this. I had a flash back of my failed relationship last year. Although we were not married and have no kids, we had the same weird confrontation. The "I'm just not happy."
She cried herself sick last night. I didn't know what to say, all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her it would be ok. He swears he never had an affair but he talked to her for HOURS everyday and texted all day long. If it wasn't physical, it was still an affair. It was an emotional affair!!!
My friend and him talked again after the kids left. He tried to blame EVERYTHING on her. He said he needs love too. That everything is so routine. That when they were intimate he felt like she wasn't there. Although I'm sure there are things she can do different, I am also sure he's not perfect either!!! He hurt her! He crushed his wife, the mother of his children, the woman he supposedly loves. And all he could say was "don't you ever think about what could have happened? What if we should have followed a different path? Haven't you ever thought about being with other people?" She said NO NEVER. He still stuck to the nothing happened but it was only a matter of time before the affair went past emotional...
He finally realized what a douche he's been when she told him what their daughter said. About a week or so ago she said "Mommy what's wrong with daddy? He's not him anymore. Are you all getting a divorce?" Then she told him how she knows about his going out and drinking when she's not around because her son told her! I'm pretty sure that made him feel like ass. I HOPE IT DID!
He called her while I was talking to her to check and see how she was. Guilt is a nasty thing to come to terms with.
It made me realize how DUMB some men are. They get this bug up their ass as they age. They start to think about what might have been instead of appreciating what they have. He is willing to throw away a wonderful marriage and beautiful wife because he can't stop thinking about what he missed out on because he had kids and got married kinda young. He says its so routine... well of COURSE it is, they have two kids and just enough money to make ends meet... how are they supposed to break the routine??? She's tried, I know she has because she tells me, but they are always watching their money soooooo its a vicious vicious cycle.
Whether he wants to admit it or not he cheated on her, in a way, with another woman. He strayed from his wife and family because he was feeling insecure! He didn't try to fix it he just pulled himself away. Which scares the crap out of me. I want the happily ever after . I want to fall in love and start a family but I am scared to death because I don't want to go through that. I went through something similar once and THANK GOD we were not married with kids because I was a nut case after and I still don't know what happened. I still have no idea why I wasn't good enough for him. I'm glad things happened because now I can find someone who will treat me right but holy s--t, I don't think I could do it again.
Ok I think I am done freaking out now. I still want to KICK my friend's husband's ass right now. I hope to God he realizes what he is giving up.
