I looked like the crazy cat lady that tried go out in public and was terribly unsuccessful at dressing herself...

So the last few weeks at work have been stressful!  We had a major project with one of larger customers.  Like the type of project that if they would have had to do it themselves they would have just said "Eff it I'm quitting".  We are talking about days, upon days of tedious organizing and double and triple checking things.  Just plain ol' boring shtuff.

So over the course of 2 weeks we collected and separated and alphabatized all of this crapola.  And Friday, glorious Friday we finished.  Alleluia was sung, angels trumpeted, I may have orgasmed...who knows.  Point being it was done, thank tha lord! So today being the bubbly bright little worker I am, I went to deliver the goods to our customer, to make nicey and make sure they knew we took care of all the hard work. 

I showed up this morning all excited to finally be rid of this.  I had a bounce in my step and was just beaming.  So as I drove to the customer's office I sang my little heart out in the car and felt like I was Queen of the World!  When I pulled up my first dilemma happened.  This box probably weighs 1/2 as much as me and I have to get it out of my trunk, across the parking lot and up the stairs.  Hmmmmm, I can do this. . . I carry small children for short periods of time...this should be easy peasy.

Bwahahahaha, I remember why I am not Mrs. Optimism...because THE law always wins out...whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and I will be a hot mess!  So there I am pulling a giant rectangle, that weighs more than my 6 years old "niece", out of my little car.  I finally get it out....but am having issues balancing it on my leg while I try to close the trunk and not drop everything and trying to not flash the world because well....that is a possibility when you are wearing a skirt.  In hindsight my adorable outfit may not have been the best choice to wear today.  Moving on, I'm also trying not to touch the trunk because...well because my car is filthy and I have on a pretty black skirt.  I managed to do this somehow only to be greeted with the reality that the ginormous parking lot is gravel and I'm in heels.  *Oh my God what was I thinking dressing like this?!*  I slowly made my way across the parking lot on wobbly ankles that threatened to twist with every step.  I looked like a baby deer taking its first steps on hot lava rocks.  By the time was about 1/2 way I was perspiring, which is southern girl for "sweating my @$$ off", but luckily some LARGE kind fellow realized my struggles and came to my rescue.  "Alleluia, there is a God"  and he likes to watch me in socially awkward situations that make me have near mental breakdowns in public.  My Good Samaritan hoisted the box up over his massive belly and in doing so I heard the contents inside the box shift.  *queue nervous laughter* "Excuse me sir, thanks for the help but please please please be careful with that.  The contents are in a particular order and I'd hate for them to get mixed up." He says "I got this lady" with the biggest Teddy Bear smile.... *hahahaha ok, ok...ok ...it'll be fine....hahahaha*

With each painful step I hear the contents shift in the box.  It is like nails on a freakin chalkboard!  I am trying my hardest not to be a royal bitch but he is just nonchalantly carrying the box.  *silent scream, silent screeeeeeaaaaaaammmmmm* I made another comment about being careful and this time he just flat out ignored me...then....hahahah then....he said "naw baby, I'm helping a sweet little white girl carry something".  *holy shiitake this mother effer is on the phone....hey hey hey sir...'scuse me....AHHHHHH*.  I felt like a little gnat trying to warn and unsuspecting Giraffe there was a lioness about to eat his @$$.

NOLAGurl translation - "big mother effer is totally ignoring me and there is NOTHING I can do to get his flipping attention while he destroys 2 weeks worth of HARD WORK!"

So we go up the stairs *slosh, slosh, slosh goes the inside of the box*.  I am a jittery mess of nerves with a nervous giggle and am just utterly frustrated at this point.  We get to my final destination and he puts my box down and bolts before I can even utter a half-hearted "Thank You".  Guess "baby" was tired of being ignored :P.  I frantically open the box to see the damage as my customer comes out of his office to greet me.  I must have looked like death because before he can even say hello, his smile fades and he says "are you OK?".  *hahaha sure, I'm fine.  two weeks of organizing undone in a mere second. hahaahah sure sure sure, I am fine, twitch twitch* I managed to say "sure, I am great.  Its just extremely warm out there and I wanted to make sure I brought everything *insert the most reassuring smile I can muster (which probably looked fairly demented)* Thankfully my customer is about my age and VERY laid back and just started laughing and asked if his hulking worker messed anything up.  Finally releasing the breath I didn't realize I was holding, I kinda laughed.  I checked the contents and it was only slightly askew...easily fixed *whew*.  Then....hahahha....then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored window...I looked like the crazy cat lady that tried go out in public and was terribly unsuccessful at dressing herself.  Ok maybe not that bad but my skirt had a nice size dust smudge from the box I guess...I had a sweat mark on my side (which you could only see when I raised my arm but STILL)....my hair was unbelievably windblown (a MESS!) with a random piece stuck on my lip (how did I not notice that?!)....and I still had my nervous fake smile.  Oh for F****s sake!  So as I was rambling I tried to casually dust my skirt, smooth my hair (without raising my arms too much) and not look so frazzled!  Then he walked me out and I was like well that ended better than I thought *breathes sigh of relief*.

After returning to my office I was all chipper and relaxed, until I went to the restroom...as I was leaving something caught my eye in the mirror...I had a giant gray dust mark across my @$$!  Like two perfect circles...one on each cheek.  I guess when I hoisted the box away from my vehicle I leaned back against it for balance...It was like a beacon saying "please stare at my bootay".  I was like "geez why didn't so and so say that was there?!?"  Then I was like yea right, like he'd say ANYTHING....that would be like totally admitting he was staring at my butt....which is probably exactly what he was doing as we left! 

So that's my adventure for today, hope I made you smile!

When did it become not "OK" to be yourself. . .

. . . oh right, its never been "OK" to be yourself. Especially if that self is not in line with what others think is "cool" or acceptable

I can't believe I actually just said that.  I mean I am by no means in High School, yet I am experiencing and observing grown @$$ people (yes I said grown @$$) treating others poorly because they are different.  Shouldn't we have all learned, possibly in Kindergarten, that being different isn't necessarily bad???  We are all important!  I know, I know it is said that people are predispositioned to be wary of anything they don't understand.  I just thought with all of the advancements and knowledge we have now that maybe, just maybe we were outgrowing this barbaric attitude.  Wow am I wrong, and I hate being wrong.

I am not putting all persons in this category but there are many more than I'd like to admit that fit into this group.  I was never one to be bullied back in the day.  I wasn't a "cool" person but I wasn't a "nerd".  I liked what I liked and no one hated on me for it.  Actually, I had lots of friends of all shapes, sizes and interests.  I enjoyed science, I was good at math, I had good grades and I was in many extra-curricular activities and I loved Star Trek (shush).  I went to college, I partied and I managed to get a degree.  My point is, aside from all this "normalcy" I've always been drawn towards things considered "nerdy" but I've never really been ousted because of those interests. I knew of others that were ousted but I myself never truly experienced it and I tried my darnedest to not be associated with those that were so harshly judgmental.  Actually I made more of an effort to befriend those being persecuted to let them know they weren't alone.  I wasn't always successful but I did try to be the better person.

Flash forward a sum of years. . . some of those that were hurt back in the day have become the persecutors.  Again let me say...NOT ALL...but the reversal is astonishing.  People who know what its like to be an outcast for liking something different or being nerdy are the ones dishing out the judgement.  And then of course there are the others that never quite grew out of the "I'm cooler than you phase".

Why am I ranting, you may ask.  Well because as I get older I am not hiding what I like.  Not that I really hid it before but I guess to an extent I did around certain people.  Regardless, I am still me.  I still love science, I'm still decent at math, I watch Sci-Fi shows & read fantasy novels and I still make friends with almost everyone (I don't hold against you for who you are, what you like, who you like or what you believe).  But as of late I have been criticized for being like this.  I'm too nice, I'm too agreeable and I don't "like the right things" or say the right things or even like the right people.  Basically I am being told I need to grow up and be an adult.  And I've watched others in various aspects of my life change themselves so that they aren't bullied for being different.  But since when is being passionate about...well anything...being childish.  Yes I obsess a little over fictional characters and situations but I am fully aware that they are in fact fictional and it does not actually affect my reality.  Its my escape from a normal world.  Yes, I have a really good life.  I do, I am blessed so they say but sometimes you need an escape and that's what these "nerdy" things are for me...an escape.  A time where I don't have to think about money or work or cleaning the house.  I get to travel in time as a companion, hang out with supernatural creatures, be the heroine and fail miserably.  There are lessons in all these stories. . .accept people for who they are because they are important and they accept you for who you are with all of your flaws and desires.  What makes my likes and wants any less important than yours?  So I am passionate about science and fiction. . . you are passionate about sports or maybe fashion or maybe reality TV or maybe you like playing marbles with glass eyeballs....While I do love me some sports and I dress to impress (sometimes), I am not an huge fan of reality TV.  It annoys me to no end but ya know what if you like it, more power to you.  The glass eyeballs is a little odd but hey whatever floats your boat.  My point is I'm not going to stop liking you because you enjoy something I don't (unless it involves bestiality, murder, torture, etc. . . in that case I think there is a nice padded room with your name on it). . . so don't criticize me for my passions, please.

My lesson to my future little ones and any little ones that look up to me will always be don't change yourself because you don't fit in someone's mold.  There is no cookie cutter way to be . . . if there was there wouldn't be any individuals just a mass of the same, like I don't know...like algae...hell even algae varies a little.  Just be you and if they don't like you for being you than they do not deserve your friendship or love.  Okay rant over. . . closing with some words of wisdom.


One of my favorite quotes from a fictional and flawed hero "Nobody important. Blimey, that's amazing. Did you know that in 900 years of time and space I've never met someone who wasn't important before?" ~The Doctor


This doesn't just apply to my nerdy side. . .this applies to people who are different in ANY way. We are all important damn it! :)