...am I that desperate for the Fairytale love story?! Not likely, HA!
Ok so I just jumped on the Twilight bandwagon and I am totally hooked. I recently started reading the 1st book Twilight (I've seen both the movies). And Oh my, every time I read I find myself smiling and totally enthralled in this book. I read ALOT, okay. I mean I finish books fairly quickly unless I have a lot going on, AKA holidays, etc. And I have never been this into a book. I have many favorites where I get wrapped up in the stories but this is waaaaaaay different. I find myself relating to Bella more than any other Character, WEIRD I know (stop laughing). It just baffles me. We all know my weird fetish for Vampires...I don't know what it is about them but I have always been fascinated by the concept and to see it in a new perspective is very refreshing. After I finish this series (which should be soon, HA) I am told I MUST read the Southern Vampire Mysteries series that was the inspiration for True Blood (I think). But I am not sure I will ever get into a story line as much as I have wrapped myself in this one. I literally have to force myself to stop reading, hahaha.
So all that being said I started to wonder why this story and not any other of the 100's that I have read. I honestly have NO IDEA. But I do know that I want a love like that. One where it hurts to not be with the person and pains you to think of anything bad happening to them or having them go away in one way or another. Where their mere touch sends chills down your spine and makes you fell all warm and fuzzy, etc etc etc. I feel like I have that now (stop laughing ;)). No really the emotional connection that I have with younger guy is something I have not had before. I have definitely been in love before on some level but I have never had the connection that I have now. And let me tell you it scares the hell outta me. I feel happy...VERY happy but so vulnerable to know that one person can affect me so much. Now if we had JUST started dating I would totally say its the 'new' relationship vibe that has me in a frenzy but we've been together 9 months (I know time flies right?!) and the same feeling is still there...not even really dulled just more comfortable, I guess. And eveidenlty him and I aren't the only ones that notice it. Since about September both of our families have been asking when we will start "making plans". We met the rest of our extended families over the holidays and even they were like "soooo when are we getting married?" Every time I turned 10 shades of red and felt like saying quit pushing people, but at the same time it made me so happy that they wanted us to be at that point...ya know. His family loves me and mine loves him, so whats the problem ;) HA. I am such a pessimist sometimes...I keep waiting for the bottom to fall out and all of this to just disappear in a flash...like its almost too good to be true. Even my friends are like sooooooo what's going on with big smiles...like I don't know what they are thinking ;) HA. Which don't get me wrong we have talked about the 'M' word ;). He totally sees me as his wife which again freaks me out because no one has ever told me that before...not even my Ex (5 YEARS!)...he said he wanted to marry me but he never said he could see me as his wife...which I guess you could say they are the same thing but hearing that from younger guy it just seemed different.
So if I am so happy in my relationship then why do I want an Edward Cullen?! Hahahahaha, because he doesn't exist. I don't care what anyone says...a man is a man and this character is way too in touch with his feelings to be anything more than a figment of the imagination. Every man has some elements of Edwards personality but I don't believe there is any man out there that can be quite as "awesome" as him and in touch with his 'feelings' without being a complete cheeseball or gay, HA! I haven't gotten far enough into the series to make any comments about Jacob but I have a feeling I will stay with the Vampire side because...well that's what I like ;) hahaha. I am weird, its a wonder how I ever attracted a decent guy!!!
