Confusion

Why is it that when you think you finally have everything figured out a monkey wrench gets thrown in the mix and it all goes to cah cah?

So I have this ‘ex’. We dated YEARS ago for like 3 years. We were a great couple EXCEPT we fought over everything. It was a very volatile relationship, so of course it ended and then he moved away. We both moved on. I am in a committed relationship and he…well he’s doing his thing. He doesn’t really tell me one way or the other what he’s up to and that’s fine I guess.

The problem…whenever we see each other (which is NOT very often), there’s this ‘connection’. And it drives me insane because I know there is no reason for it to be there anymore. We are different people now and have other things going on so why do these ‘sparks’ fly. I thought I was imagining it but my best friend, who was not around when he and I dated, saw this connection this last time we were all together.

Why does it drive me insane? Well because it’s almost like no time has passed and we are ‘together’ again. Which after the fact (meaning after he or I leaves) makes me start to wonder/question everything. CRAZY, I KNOW! I have a good thing with my current boyfriend so why the doubt, because for some reason the human mind only remembers the good times. Even when I try to make myself remember the hurt and pain it seems OK, like it really wasn’t that bad. YEAH RIGHT! Then I start to think he’s (the ex) only flirting with me to get back at me…which I hope isn’t true but people do stupid things.

Then recently, I find out he ‘lied’ about something. You see he’s been preaching to me for WEEKS that he and his lady broke up for good this time. Okay, cool I guess, whatever makes ya happy. What kills me is, like I said he comes here all charming and sweet and driving me insane and requesting a visit to his city fully knowing I am still taken. Well I find out through various sources that they are not broken up but very much together. UMMMM, what the hell? Why lie to me about that? I know about this person and if she makes you ‘happy’, why lie to me and say you broke up with her. That’s just STUPIDITY in my book. I don’t lie about my status. I am very much taken. It’s not like I said I am single again let’s hook up, not that, that would have justified the fib but still!

He left 4 days ago and for that stupid, short period of time I have been pondering about what would have happened had we not split. Would we be happy, miserable, married, etc? I hate these random thoughts!!! Mainly because they are dumb, dumb, dumb. I’m apparently this fling thing he wants to have. Just a one last time situation, at least that’s what I have been told, which makes me get pissed because I am like, really, that’s all I am, thought we were friends…WOW, that’s pretty shitty.

I am in a fairly difficult place right now. Because I REALLY want to call him out on the lie but I don’t want him to think it’s because I am jealous, further feeding his ego. What to do?!? This is why I hate men, they suck, especially mischievous ex’s!

Why so Bitter?!?!

Have you ever asked your self this question…

I know it’s very general and can apply to anything but it is a great question to ask. Why am I asking this question today, well it’s because I am annoyed. You see today I was late for work. Not like a little late but really late. I either didn’t set my alarm last night OR I turned it off in my sleep. I wok up at 7:24 AM…6 minutes before I am due at work and I live 45 minutes away… “Ooops” is all I can really say.

Now I am not one of those people that is always 5-10 minutes late. Actually I am usually one of the first people here, like 10-15 minutes early. So for me to be 1 hr and 15 min late is insane.

I did what I was supposed to do. I called in to let my office know what happened and that I would be there late but ASAP. Evidently I did it wrong. You see I work in an extremely small office (15 people). My supervisor is not always in or if they are, is always on the phone...always in meetings. So when ever I have had to call in, whether I am late, sick or have a meeting I usually call/email our Inside Office lady to let her know and to tell everyone else, instead of leaving a bunch of messages. Which is what happened today, I called her she told everyone, I came to work. But today I got 'told' something for not calling my supervisor. Not just a please contact me also, but a rather not necessary email, I think...maybe I read too much into it but whatever. I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus but I had no clue if she would be in today. I was told no matter what the situation she must be informed by me. I wasn’t being deceitful just trying to cut down on the amount of time spent calling people when I am already late.

The 1^st email (why not just tell me in person…who knows…I guess to have it in ‘writing’), “ _________ told me that you did not wake up until 7:30. In the future, leave me a voice mail message or call my cell and let me know as well. Thanks.” OK that’s fine, mental note from this point forward I will do so. But then I got a 2^nd email, “Turn in a leave form for being late.” Um, OK. I was an hourish late I get that, but I can work through lunch and stay a little late…but whatever new policy is still policy, fine. So I submitted the form and apologized in my email for not calling her directly, etc. Then the 3^rd email comes, “I would appreciate the respect for basic communication in the future. Thanks”. OK I said I was sorry and in the future I would do so, why the implication that I was not being respectful. There was no disrespect just miscommunication. So why all the hostility…well now I know why this happened, I think.

You see my best friend came in town yesterday (Thursday). It was assumed that I went out last night and partied hard, therefore I was hung-over today and irresponsibly late. None of this is true. Yes I did go see my best friend but all we did was eat dinner and BS for a few hours. I was home early (like 11PM). But the assumption was since I had company in from out of town and I came in late that I’m a lush. Well that is unacceptable behavior in the work environment, right? Well of course but making assumptions on unclear information is also unacceptable, right. In my eyes yes…yes it is. I mean think about it. What if this ‘assumption’ was told to the owner of the company? I could have lost my job or been reprimanded harshly for something that was truly innocent. And it just plain made me look bad. Trust me if I'm hungover I am usually extra prompt because I DON'T want to get in trouble. It has been cleared up now I think...(everyone knows what actually happened), but still. I had a TERRIBLE morning because of all the BS that was supposedly flying around today…because an invalid ‘assumption’ was made.

So, what’s the lesson here? When in doubt ask!!! We are all guilty of this at some point, but don’t just fly off the handle because you ‘think’ you know what’s going on. Don’t assume things just because they make sense in your head. All this does is mess things up. It’s ALWAYS better to ask. Luckily my situation ended up being nothing more than a minor headache but it could have turned out extraordinarily different.